Tourmangler Diaries

TRAVELING TEXAS

2009-01-01T13:16:00.000-08:00

After a day or two of traveling around Dallas/Fort Worth relaxing, I headed south to pick up my wife in West, TX. Her mom brought her halfway. We met at (where else) the Czech Stop in West. Now, I must preface this story by saying that I spent two and half years in the employment of Phil Pritchett. In those 25-30 months, we probably stopped at the Czech stop no les than 100 times. And if you’ve ever been in the Czech stop, then you know that the walls of the aforementioned home of edible goodness are adorned with hundreds of 8x10’s of passing musicians. You can find everyone from Shakira (far left next to the Dr. Pepper cooler) to Ed Burleson (over the smoked sausage freezer next to the fountain drinks). Bands that I don’t even think were ever actually together for anything more than the 8x10 photo shoot have pictures on the wall. Now, after stopping there 30 or 40 times, I told Phil and the boys that we needed to leave our calling card and slip then an autographed 8x10. Phil was hesitant, thinking it was a little presumptious, but I assured him they’d appreciate it. So we gave them the picture and they seemed very pleased with their new famous customers. When we traveled in a couple days later, the oicture wasn’t displayed. When we came back the next week, no picture. A few weeks passed and we stopped in for some Kolaches…no picture on the wall. We started to think maybe we gave it to the wrong person. So I made Phil and the boys sign another one and this time, I made damn certain we had the right lady to give it to. She assured me that she didn’t know what happened last time, but this time it would make the wall.

Same story for the next couple months. We’d stop, we’d walk the gas station staring at the shots with our breath held and hopes high…and we’d leave with our heads hung low. Finally, we gave up on the idea of ever having our picture in the Czech stop. I moved on from my job with Phil a few months later.

Flash forward to Dec 17. I call my wife and tell her that I’ve arrived 10 minutes early at the Czech stop. She told me to meet her on the bakery side of the Czech Stop. I walk in and what hits me in the face???
There it is. Just like the Red Ryder in the window (A Christmas Story), or the Camaro on the lawn (Better Off Dead), I looked at that picture on the wall like it was the greatest present anyone could have ever given me. Pritchett, Stolly and Lynch sandwiched in between promo shots some girl with a large stuffed dog and a guy in a tux. The angels sang and the drums rolled. And I realized quickly that the picture had probably been hanging here for months- hell, years – since we brought it into the store that windy day so many moons before. The as station was so full of 8x10’s, the girl explained to me, that they had to start hanging them in the bakery. As a show of devotion to my former employer and as a sign of defiance to the Czech Stop, I almost scaled the cash register to pull down the picture and walk it into the gas station side and switch it out with The Stringbenders or Matt The Cat or somebody who doesn’t give a damn that their picture hangs on the wall. I thought better, being the holiday season I didn’t want to go to jail. Much less jail in West. But goddammit, that picture finally made it.

HOMEWARD BOUND

2009-01-01T13:01:00.000-08:00

So I awoke around 8:30 am the morning after my Oklahoma adventure. I got my stuff together and was ready to hit the road. I’d heard tale of a nasty cold front moving in, but I guess I underestimated the strength. Mike Shackleford, the caretaker of ML’s place, came in right as I woke suited up in a blizzard jumpsuit ready for his day’s chores. When I asked him if it was cold outside, he gave me the look that I was the dumbest man on earth. Apparenty, the temperature had dropped from a balmy 68 degrees the day before to 20 degrees the following morning. With a wind chill of 12 degrees. Basically it was colder than a witches tit.

I jumped in the car and headed southbound toward Texas. I found the Peanut Shoppe somewhere around Sherman and stopped for some last minute Christmas shopping for my grandfather and wife…peanut brittle, jalapeno peanut brittle and wasabi peas. Cute place. From there I navigated into the metroplex and headed to my buffy Jake’s place in Forney. Jake and I had a good Mexican lunch, battled a couple games of XBOX and then dined on Ghengis Grill for dinner. I headed out the next morning into some icy conditions around DFW. My first stop was Bobo China, one my favorite haunts in Dallas for Chinese food. I had the chicken corn soup (my favorite) which was out of this world. Here’s a picture of the ginormous bowl.
I got steamed dumplings with it, which are very good, but I should have opted for my old standby of the twice cooked pork (with cabbage). God it’s good and I regretted not ordering a couple hours later. It started REALLY snowing while I was at Bobo. I finished my soup and dumplings and grabbed my fortune cookie before heading out. Thought you can’t quite make out the words below, my fortune definitely says “Traveling to the south will bring you wealth and happiness.” See below:
I felt this somewhat appropriate. I thought I’d hang on to that one. Anyway, I took my good fortune and full belly and headed on my way. Since I as in the neighborhood I ran by my old house. The place still looks good, but it was covered in ice and snow. I kind of miss the little place.

I ran errands around town before heading out to my grandparents to relax for the night. It felt like home to be back on Texas soil. Oh yeah, I went to Luby’s that night and had liver and onions. It’s a grandparent thing…both Luby’s and liver and onions. I’m an old soul.

SWEET HOME OKLAHOMA

2008-12-27T07:58:00.000-08:00

We had a couple good shows in Oklahoma (Shawnee and Miami) to wrap up the year. We've played Miami two or three other times and I really like that little place. We brought Jeremy Elliot out on the road to guitar tech for the weekend, he was my first Tour Manager when I was out on with Jack Ingram. Jeremy did a great job working with us and it was great to get to spend time with him. We had a couple drinks each night and caught up.

When we were done in Miami, we had a great iPod party with me, Jeremy, ML and Mike Vandivier (a local legend around Tishomingo...he's kind of the honorary mayor of the town). We spanned everything from Brandi Carlisle to Otis Redding with a short foray into 80's country with Dan Seals, T.G. Shepherd and Keith Whitley. All in all, a good wrap to the evening and end of the year.

We got back to ML's place early Sunday morning. We woke up and went to look at a new bus we're thinking of leasing next year. Good looking ride. After going through the bus, we headed over to the Western Inn for breakfast. The Western Inn is the only motel in Tishomingo and has a great greasy spoon diner up front. I did the buffet. I had chicken fried steak, mashed potatoes, fried okra, corn and a little peach cobbler for desert. It was greatness and I'm sure I have gravy running through my bloodstream now. When we went up front to check out, they had a little display case with crafts, etc. ML picked up a pair of black socks with cute little Christmas charm. However, when we examined closer we realized that the creator goofed and instead of saying "HO HO HO" the socks read "OH OH OH". We got a good laugh, see the socks below...

We headed back to the ranch to start the great bus cleanout of 2008. ML has lived on the bus for the last two years, therefore it was chock full of clothes, knick knacks and just general crap. She wasn't the only guilty party, I had a ton of stuff on the bus as well. It took us about four hours to get through everything. We finally finished up around 4:30 pm. Mike Vandivier (the local legend himself) asked me if I wanted to go "feed hay" when I was done with the bus. After reminding Mike that I was from a populated area, he explained that "feeding hay" just meant you drive around pastures and put bales of hay out for the cattle to eat. And that you took a cooler. It sounded like fun to me, so I said I was in. We jumped in the truck and headed towards town. We fed the first pasture with two bales. We were feeding Black Angus and they're broken down to about 60 head per pasture. Here's a picture of us pulling into the pasture.

Here's one of the cows we fed...he kinda looks a little like Alex around the mouth. But I'm sure he's much cleaner and probably smells a little better...the cow, that is.

After making some animals happy for a while (and sucking down a couple beers in the cab) Mike and I headed back to ML's. She had people to see and things to do, so I had the run of the place. Master of my domain. King of the hill.

Luckily, the Cowboys were playing on ESPN so the boredom of being on the plains of Oklahoma had no chance of setting in. I watched the Cowboys handily defeat the Giants. I got a little hungry around halftime, but there is one problem with the whole :living in solidtude" thing, and that's that nothing it near you nor open at 9 pm on a Sunday night in Tishomingo or surrounding areas. So, being the handicook that I am, I whipped up a little omelette made with fresh chicken eggs, cheese and thick cut bologna. Now, the omelette ingredients weren't nearly impressive as the flip I got on the omelette during cooking. Check out this baby...

After eating that big beast I crawled under a blanket on the couch and slumbered for quite a while. Tomorrow would hold another chapter, I needed my beauty rest. I was, however, excited about the past few days of eye opening experiences. I've missed these during the downtime.

THE VEGAS COMEBACK

2008-12-27T07:44:00.000-08:00

No, it wasn't Elvis' return to the City of Sin, but we made our return for the opening weekend of National Finals Rodeo for a two night stand at the Golden Nugget. I made it in on Thursday, Dec 4th and everyone else was arriving early a.m. of the 5th. I took the opportunity to go try my hand at the Vegas poker scene. I played 1-2 No Limit and had a good table with a cast of characters. I played about 3 hours or so and was back and forth. The guy I was sitting next to was from Austin and an Eco major at UT. That should have been my first clue that things wouldn't end up well. Through the course of the 3 hours, the kid had pocket aces three different times and was just cleaning everyone out. I was dwindling down on chips, I had about $80 left. I drew A-10 offsuit. I raised before the flop and everyone folded but the kid. He called my raise and the flop came. It was A, 10, 6. He bet and I pushed all my chips in, raising to all in. My thinking was "I've already got two pair, the only thing that could beat me was if he had pocket Aces (which he'd already had three other times) or pocket 10's, which I didn't think he did. Well, he called my all in. We flipped and, sure enough, he had pocket aces for the FOURTH time in three hours. I was cleaned out, dejected and hungry...I headed up to my room.

The Nugget was an OK place. The hotel was actually very nice and the gaming was good, but the showroom was a little weird. It's on the third floor of the casino, was a terrible load in and the place only held about 600 people. Apparently the showroom has been in the same place for over 50 years and they don't want to move it, so they just keep renovating it. The green room was pretty cool. It had old retro shag carpet and old 8x10 shots of all the famous Vegas acts that had played there...Sinatra, Sammy Davis, etc. Ron, the head of entertainment for the last 90 years (or so), made sure to point out the crapper in the green room. "Boy, that's the same throne Frank sat on when he was here. If it was good enough for Frank..."

We had a fill in guitar tech that weekend. He ate the buffet (which was passable, but definitely not the MGM or Mandalay Bay) for dinner and about five songs in started feeling bad. He hurled himself towards the trash can and then began hurling his buffet into the trash can. He then made it back to the bathroom of the green room where he tossed his cookies into the same throne Frank sat on. If it was good enough for Frank...

HIGH RISE LIVIN' IN CHI-TOWN

2008-11-03T14:08:00.000-08:00

So we set up camp in Chicago for a few days to play our annual "ML Birthday Weekend" at Joe's Bar. We checked in on Halloween and the nice folks at the Westin on Michigan Ave upgraded me to a corner deluxe suite overlooking Watertower Place and adjacent to the John Hancock building (where Chris Farley died). The room, including the King bedroom not shown, was about 1200 SF and amazing. It came complete with a Murphy King Bed built into the wall of the den, but I opted for the "Heavenly Bed" in the bedroom. The room had to 40' flatscreen TV's, perfect for watching weekend football.

Travis Howard and I steered away from any Halloween activities, opting instead to shop early in the day and then later that night catch his buddy Levi portray Jerry Lee Lewis in "Million Dollar Quartet", a play about the one day that Elvis, JLL, Carl Perkins and Johnny Cash all met up at Sun Records in Memphis. Levi stole the show with his amazing piano skills and brash portrayal of Jerry Lee's infamous ego. After the show, we hung around for the cast party for little while before I retired to my aforementioned accommodations in the Windy City.

After an early load in at Joe's, I ran over for a quick lunch at Uncle Julio's with my buddy Troy Johnson who popped in for the weekend. It was GREAT to have a return to yellow cheese. The show that night was sold out and when we were done I headed back for some much needed rest. I awoke Sunday morning to the church bells across the street. Since it was a light day at the office (we didn't have to load in again), I rallied the troops for some morning coffee and then a jaunt into WaterTower mall for some soup at Food Life. I had the shrimp and crab bisque, a bowl of the butternut squash soup and a bowl of the lentil. Yes, I do realize I'm a fatass. I headed over to the venue shortly after lunch and got the day underway. Sunday night's show was not quite sold out, but was even more fun than Saturday. We had a bunch of special guests like Travis, John Eddie, Blake, Adam Hood and Matt Powell get up and play. We did a two hour, 45 minute show of nothing but cover songs. A good time was had by all. I capped the night off with a Blue Moon (and allegedly, possibly, a shot) with Ed (the greatest club owner in the world), Troy and a couple of the guys. I woke up this morning very sad to have to leave my suite and Chicago behind. Travis and I hopped a cab to Midway, enjoyed a breakfast sandwich from Potbelly and made it home at lunchtime. I feel a nap coming on.

AT LEAST THEY'RE ARENAS...

2008-10-24T14:48:00.000-07:00

So I've longed for the days of arenas for some time now. We're finally headlining some, and I like to think that I advance these shows pretty thoroughly. I guess i should be more clear in my shower advance, like "do your showers have floors or running water." Above is a shot from the backstage facilities at McElroy Auditorium in Waterloo, IA. The shower room was so dilapidated (you can't see the ceiling that fell in, nor the big hole in the floor from the busted water mane) it looked like the scene from the movie "SAW". Aden had a big idea, in the spirit of Halloween, to really freak people out. So after he raided a janitor closet nearby, we ended up with this. Curiosity would kill the cat every time, so anyone who walked by would inevitably open the door labeled "As Seen in the Hollywood Blockbuster 'SAW'". Needless to say, there were a few men screaming like 10 year old girls. Also needless to say, the showers were inoperable and I will forever double check with venues so that this occurrence is a one time deal.

Today we're in La Crosse, WI. We've presold about 3200 tix and will have about 4000 here tonight. La Crosse is how I remember it from last tour...cold, rainy. There is a rumor of some light snow later tonight. Odd to see that in October for a boy from Texas. At least Scotty is ready for the weather.

HARD TICKETS, BABY...

2008-10-16T07:20:00.000-07:00

After a few days of rest, I headed to Dallas on Wednesday. I had the whole day off and ate as much Texas food as I could get. Since I don't have good Thai in Nashville, I had some Panang Beef and Tom Kha soup for lunch. Not quite as good as Mango's on Lovers at the Tollway, but a good second. I shopped at NorthPark mall all day and revamped the fall wardrobe. To quote the infamous (that means "more than famous") Alex Weeden, "I'm going big." I bought a new fedora, a vest, a new shirt (black, of course), some socks and a windbreaker. I also snuck in some Taco Cabana while in town. On the way back to the bus lot, I grabbed some mini-chimis, an enchilada platter and some chips and queso. Cut me a break, I'm yellow cheese deprived up here in Tennessee.

We headed to Tulsa, OK for a radio promo show with Scotty, Aden and ML. We played 5-6 songs in the high school gym. While it may sound a little hokey, it really wasn't. They let folks come down to the stage and stand, and it as set so we played to only one side of the gym. Really a neat thing. For the last song, Kerosene, we brought out the Bixby Pride Drum Line to play with us. There is a killer video of it somewhere on the internet I'm sure. Aden was a college band director and he worked with them for about an hour or so to get the on the right track.

When we were done, we grabbed some rooftop mexican food and a couple margaritas and headed to Cape Girardeau, MO. We played there with Dierks a few years ago, ML threw out the first pitch at the College baseball game. We had a good show, almost 3000 in attendance. It was the first hard ticket date the two have ever done, so we had all the important people there. Like, more important than Al even.

The following day we had a sold out show in Pikeville, KY. Not bad, a sellout on your first weekend. Pikeville was where they filmed "Deliverance" so I didn't venture out of the building. At all. Other than walking to the bus, but I looked both ways several times before doing so. Frank Liddell, ML's producer, came out for the weekend and he swears he saw a bridge used in the movie while he was out on a jog.

Here's a good shot from the sold out crowd that night...

We've got a few more of these left on the calendar. We head to Phoenix tonight for a show tomorrow, then Primm, NV (Vegas). I'm sure I'll have more fodder after those two stops.

HEY, go buy Wade Bowen's new record "If We Ever Make It Home." I just got it and have only listened to one song, but i can tell it "has it" and the whole record will be worth it. It's on iTunes.

EASILY IMITATED, NEVER DUPLICATED...

2008-10-16T07:02:00.000-07:00

You know, they say you've made it when you've been spoofed on SNL or lampooned on Leno or Letterman. I think this means I'm accepted by my peers. This is Kline in his best tourmangler impression, complete with fedora, radio, blackberry, glasses, pearl snap and even finger point to the imaginary watch (now, so dubiously called, "Do The Jordan"). Endearing it was.

We started the week with Blake in Richmond, VA. Great night, we had about 5000 paid. Fire marshall was a dickhead, but what's new there? Although I fought a very convincing battle against him, it's hard to win when your opponent holds the whole deck. He was worried, and for good reason I'm sure, that the 4000 screaming 12 year old females would pose a significant threat to show security, so he opted for the 3 foot barricade to protect us all...especially Al.

From Richmond we headed to what I must say was the easiest corporate show we've ever done...a birthday party for a girl of an EXTREMELY wealthy family in Washington D.C. The mom is Catherine Reynolds, who has been featured on 60 Minutes a couple times, she's a huge philanthropist for the arts. ML and Michelle Branch played the show together. It was really good to see Michelle, she's a total sweetheart and has a good crew with her. We all got good green room hang time in between the show. Speaking of screaming females, I did mention the birthday party was for a 16 year old girl, right? Yeah, so it was pretty rocking with kids piled to the stage singing every word.

Our dear friend Travis Howard came out to the show as well. Travis is mending a broken heart, nothing to help you through that like life at the Willard Hotel and 60-70 16 year old girls. Kidding, Travis would never stoop lower than 17. It was great to hang with him over that day and he and ML sat up late playing tunes. Then I awoke at home. I need to start clicking my heels together three times, maybe that would work and we could skip the bus rides.

WHAT HAPPENED TO AVRIL?

2008-09-25T19:08:00.000-07:00

OK, I'm gonna be honest here. I've been an Avril Lavigne fan since the early days. She wrote a lot of that early stuff ("Complicated" and "I'm Yours") and I as hooked. It was good pop, but part of what drew me in was the attitude. A 17 year old skater vixen who gave the finger to the camera and didn't give two shits about anything but rocking.

I bought this DVD on iTunes yesterday and just watched it on the plane ride from Nashville to Vegas.

I have to say, it sounds good and looks good, but I was thoroughly disappointed in her show. The first three songs are Avril choreographed with dancers. I thought I was losing my mind when i saw it, I had to check and make sure I bought the right thing. What happened to the rocker chick? Even her demeanor during the show is sweet and thankful. Sweet and thankful doesn't rock. When you wave to the crowd every song, you lose some cool factor...just ask Phil Vassar. It sucked because the video wall was cool, the set was decently cool and during the show Avril played acoustic guitar, electric guitar, drums and piano, but it's the many other songs that she danced around looking like a pageant queen that ruined the rest of the show for me. And this is getting nitpicky, but when she's doing her pageant queen moments I can't get past the fact that she looks JUST like Heidi Montag from the Hills. It really becomes something that I can't shake when watching Avril.

A STEAK SANDWICH AND A...STEAK SANDWICH

2008-09-25T06:46:00.000-07:00

This is what you get for catering when you play Rabb's Steakhouse in Ruston, LA. I'm not by any means complaining, I'm just saying. This is a meat and potatoes kind of place. We played Thurs, Sept 18 with Randy Rogers opening. It was great to see those guys and catch up again, it'd been quite a while. We rolled from Ruston to Oklahoma City to play the State Fair and Rodeo. It was non-eventful. We had a visit from my buddies Troy Johnson, Roger Creager and a couple other band guys. They were in town playing the Wormy Dog and made it over to say hello. Aden and I set up a great vibe room that day...good furniture, good lighting, good tapestry work.

Our show on Saturday in Vinton, LA reminded me of one thing...we belong in arenas. Csinos aren't bad for me personally, but they suck all the energy out of the show because the crowd is sitting and staring at you like a rack of yard tools at Sears (thanks Dan Akroyd, yes I stole it from The Great Outdoors). Even though the show blew terribly, the fun that ensued after was very memorable. I hooked up with my old buddy Jamie Talbert from Beaumont, TX. I helped produce Jamie's record with Phil Pritchett a few years ago and helped him write a couple songs on it. He came to the show with his lovely wife and I sat with them while they grabbed a bite to eat after the show. Then we headed down to the bar to grab a drink or two and rumble beacme heard of our band taking over the stage. I'd had a drink and half at this point and DEFINITELY considered myself in on that plan. Here's what happened...

It turned into a free for all. We started with "Dead Flowers" with Aden on drums, Kline on bass and Alex and I on guitar and vocals (God help us all). From there, Alex launched into "Long Tall Sally" and it became a game of "blues riff in "A", watch me for the changes". When he finished, someone suggested we give the instruments back to the guys who were actually playing the gig that night. I kicked right into the riff for "Mary Janes Last Dance" until everyone fell in with me. It was a great call if I do say so myself...a real crowd pleaser.

I made it home on Sunday and had a day or two to recover. Then my buddy John Eddie came to town for a couple days. John was staying at the Hermitage and I headed down to meet up with him in the bar. While standing in the lobby on the phone, I ran into Pat Green whom I've known for 10 years now (scary). We all three headed down to the bar, had a few drinks and dinner and then went up to Pat's digs to listen to a few cuts off his new record. A very low key night, but a great one. It was good to sit and talk to those guys.

A HELLUVA RUN

2008-09-24T21:35:00.000-07:00

After the Sea World Debacle (Sept 6) we had a day off in Austin (greatness, I ate Mexican food twice more) and then flew to York, PA for a show with Blake. I've never been so happy to see a shitty fair in my life as I was to see this one. Every gig's suck factor will forever pale in comparison to the aforementioned Sea World in my previous blog. OK, I'm done with Sea World.

So we did York, PA. Went OK. Then we jumped on the bus to head back Nashville. ML and Aden were flying out at lunchtime the next day, but their flight got cancelled and they were rebooked on an early afternoon flight. I dropped them at the airport at 2:15 after having a beautiful lunch at Bricktop's on West End. I had just walked in my door and cranked up the XBOX when our fearless booking agent called and asked me if we could all be in Tulsa the following morning. LeAnn Rimes had to cancel two Chesney shows and they needed ML to fill in. Long story short, we made it work. Our truck had to drive 1200 miles in 20 hours, but he did. And everyone else had to explain to their significant others that, after a week on the road already, they had to turn around and come right back out for another 5 days before coming home for two days and doing it all again. That goes over well.

In between the two Chesney shows (Wed and Thurs) we had Friday off. Aden and I went to ML's place in Oklahoma. It was exactly what I needed. We went to breakfast at the Western Inn (the one diner in town), then went grocery shopping at the one grocery store in Tishomingo. Aden still had his mohawk up from the previous night. It was classic looks in Sooners Grocery. One woman told him "I bet you're going to a concert, aren't you." I guess in a roundabout way he is.

That night, Aden and I cooked grilled chicken, grilled venison cutlets, tortilla soup, creamed spinach and sauteed mushrooms. Unbelievable spread. I'd never done the creamed spinach recipe I halfway followed, but I think it turned out pretty darn good. There was a hair too much liquid, but i'll know next time. All in all, not bad for a whipped together meal.

Then we headed up to Tishomingo High School to catch a little bit of the local football game. It's a big event in Tish. We sat right behind the end zone and had a blast, Tish has a couple pretty decent players on their team. One running back got hit in the air and it made his body do a helicopter but he landed on his feet ad ran for another yard or two. This picture reminded me of high school, but also made me think of the "Friday Night Lights" and how important high school football is in the south.

We headed back to ML's place after the game and sat on the deck and drank a couple beers. Then someone had the bright idea of jumping on the Arctic Cat and going into the woods. Two of the big dogs came with us (Jessie and Hank) and we drove back onto ML's property. After about 10 minutes, Hank just bolted out of the Arctic Cat and Jessie was right behind her. We followed them for about 1/4 mile until they trapped something in tall grass. Then we realized what they found...a skunk. Both dogs got sprayed and you could smell them from 20 yards away. We headed back to the house and left them there to contend with their own smell...we jumped on the bus and hauled ass to Little Rock.

While we were in Little Rock, Hurricane Ike had come ashore early that morning (or late the night before) and was heading right for East Texas and then Arkansas. We knew we'd lose a big group of the patrons that night (it was a bike rally...don't ask me why, I don't book the shows), but we stuck it out. When we finished the show we walked outside into about 50-60 mph winds. It blew an umbrella upside down and drug me across the parking lot until I let it go. Charlie, our fearless driver, led us through the storm and back into safe harbor. One of the guys muttered "Ike is a mean son of a bitch" to which I replied "Ike hasn't met Charlie."

GOD I MISS AUSTIN

2008-09-05T20:17:00.000-07:00

I flew into Austin this morning and made my way to the Omni at Ben White, an old haunt. I think in 2003 I actually stayed at this hotel more than I stayed in my duplex. I made a self vow on the plane that I would eat Mexican food for every meal while in Texas this trip. Chris Newsom picked me up at 11 and we headed down to do a site survey at Sea World in San Antonio. We stopped in San Marcos and got lunch at Garcia's, an old hole-in-the-wall Mexican joint across the street from Cheatham Street Warehouse. If you don't know what Cheatham Street Warehouse is, just quit reading this now and go get educated, I don't feel like explaining. Anyway, I had the enchilada plate (one beef, one chicken and one cheese....AND IT WAS YELLOW CHEESE!!!!!). I don't get yellow cheese- or decent mexican food, for that matter- in Nashville.

The site survey for Sea World went about like you'd expect...a complete disaster. God, I miss arenas. Or sheds. Beggars can't be choosers when you're talking about decent gigs. Anyway, it will make tomorrow an adventure. And it has nothing to do with a whale, either.

We headed back to Austin and I met up with an old buddy, Kevin Lindley, from college. Kevin is Rick Perry's (governor of TX) campaign manager. We went to Maudie's on Lamar for more enchiladas. This time I had a chicken with sour cream, a beef with spicy chipotle and a cheese (AGAIN...YELLOW!). See below...this is what heaven will serve.

We spent the meal catching up on a bunch of the college guys I don't keep in touch with and talked politics, music, etc. We drove around Austin for a little while after and I saw all the enormous growth and infrastructure coming up around town. It's unreal how much has happened since I spent any time here.

Enough for now, I have to mentally prepare for the beatdown that will be tomorrow.

LOU-UH-VULL

2008-08-24T14:52:00.000-07:00

Tonight finds us in Louisville, KY. Gallagher would have a field day with the local pronunciation of their town. We're playing with the Dangerous Man himself, Trace Adkins. We've got about 30 guests out for the show, so I've been labelsitting all day.

We roll to St. Paul, MN to play with Dierks tomorrow. Apparently they had a blowout on the road this morning and their crew bus ended up in the ditch. Everyone was shaken, but unhurt. Scary mother bitch.

By the end of this ten day run we will have logged approximately 4200 miles. Considering three shows are only 200 miles apart you can imagine the jumps we've had to make to get there. Our tires are burning and we're wearing our velcro PJ's.

NEWSOM EXPECTS MORE OUT OF ME

2008-08-18T13:41:00.001-07:00

Sometimes I get bored with what I think is the humdrum day to day life of playing fair and festivals. It's a lot of dirt, a lot of inadequate facilities and a lot of meet and greets. However, sometimes I'm reminded that others revel in the choice descriptions and short diatribes that I dictate to this blog. Chris Newsom, our beloved Production Manager, is apparently one of those. Therefore, he told me a few days ago that he expected more out of me in the blog department. So, here we go.

My last entry was Atlantic City. Alex had a baby, we had to send him home for a couple days. We had a great day off in Washington D.C. (Tyson's Corner area, actually). The new NCAA '09 Football came out and Kline hacked a copy, we played pretty much all day. Kline and I did venture over to the mall to eat at Cheesecake Factory with ML and Luke. Good quality food, always consistent. I've been there at least 20 times and haven't even gotten 1/4 of the way through the menu. We walked around the mall a little and I realized that in the last five years I think I've only made three clothing purchases from any mall. For some reason they all have that stuffy, hoity toity feel to me.

We then headed out for Lewisburg, WV. It was one of the ML/Blake shows. This is what a sold out crowd of almost 6000 people looks like.

I got to run home for a quick couple days after that. We had a forgettable gig three days later in Coffeyville KS. It was a mudpit of immense proportions. They made a walkway from the buses to the stage with plywood. However, some dumbass on the "maintenance committee" didn't double check that he had all the nails out of the plywood before laying it below our feet. I walked right over it and a nail went thru the bottom of my Chuck Taylors. I was pissed. I had to go the following day and get a tetanus shot, I hadn't had one in about 12 years. I remembered them hurting really badly, but it didn't sting when I got the shot. However, two days later it felt like I took a roundhouse to the left shoulder from Holyfield.

We had a great gig a couple days later in Beaver Dam, WI. It's always such a nice change when fairs "get it" and let people come up tot he stage. Makes such a difference. From there we had another couple forgettables in South Dakota and Nebraska. After those two we headed to Denver for a day of R&R. If you are planning a Denver excursion, I highly recommend the Crowne Plaza on Glenarm. It's right in the middle of the LoDo district downtown and there is so much going on. Malls, eateries, etc. And the hotel was great as well. Aden, Alex, Charlie, Keith and I went to a breakfast place called The Delectable Egg for brunch on Sunday. We beat the rush in and had an amazing meal. I had regular old eggs benedict (great hollandaise) while Aden opted for the California benedict (English muffin with tomato, avocado, eggs and hollandaise). When leaving, Aden noticed he really liked the sign.

That brings us up to speed. We're sitting in, surprise, a dustbowl in South Dakota again. This time it's Rapid City, but you think it really matters Eddie?

MEET ME TONIGHT IN ATLANTIC CITY...

2008-08-07T23:17:00.000-07:00

Wow, what a day. We pulled into the gig at 10 am after an 800 mile ride. I walked off the bus, down to the boardwalk and took in the view for about 30 seconds. Then my phone rang and Alex, our guitar player, told me his daughter had been born and he had to get back to Austin. Mind you, he'd been in Atlantic City for a total of four hours.

I found him a flight out of Philly, but it's 60 miles to the airport. We called ChickenMan, a fan club guy we've all come to know and love. ChickenMan has a tattoo of ML's face and signature on his arm. A little wierd, but actually he's probably the most normal fan we have. ChickenMan was already in town and loaded Alex in his car and drove him to the airport to fly out.

Kline stepped in and played all of Scotty's parts and Scotty played all of Alex's parts. The show went great. John Eddie opened up. He's such a great guy and he played his ass off. The crowd loved him.

After the night was over, I just realized the irony of what happened. We had a guy named ChickenMan in Atlantic City and he drove to Philly. A little too ironic, I really do think.

On the way to Tysons Corner, VA for a day off tomorrow.

HELEN KELLER THROWING DARTS

2008-07-31T08:43:00.000-07:00

I've determined this is how our touring routing gets planned. We started this run last week in Cheyenne, Wyoming. We played Frontier Days, the big rodeo with the big ass portable stage. Then we played Minot, North Dakota. Mind you Cheyenne to Minot ND may seem close, but it was a good 720 miles. From Minot we traveled 500 miles to a day off in Minneapolis, MN. Kline and I played golf in Minneapolis. It wasn't pretty (for me, anyway), but we did have some good fun. Check out the picture/diagram below...

Apparently, as Kline put it, I "have a slice worse than Jackie Mason's in Caddyshack II." At least I was consistent in my 30 yards and left routine.

We went from Minneapolis to a day off in Chicago. We hung at Joe's Bar with our buddy Ed. A couple of the guys went to a Cubs game, but most of us just relaxed all day. The following day we did a show with Blake in Monroe, MI. Great show, Blake's guys are a barrel of fun. We had a day off in Cleveland the following day where we went out on Lake Erie and played on jet ski's, boats and engaged in games of band vs. band sporting events. Aden cooked a big pot of turkey chili.

After rolling from Cleveland, we headed to Clearfield, PA last night. It was then I realized that we'd just loaded up the herd int he family trucksters and gone from one coast to another in four days. It's every bit of 2000 miles. But he fun doesn't end there, kids. Tonight we're in Columbus OH with Dierks. We leave tonight, and keeping witht he Columbus theme we head to Columbus GA. No, I'm not kidding...670 miles. All to turn around tomorrow night and head back to Portland, IN. Another 720 miles.

Remind me when it comes Christmas time to buy our friendly booking agent a map of the continental U.S.

More to come after the 1400 miles in the next 2 nights.

I'M SLACKING AT UPDATES

2008-07-19T13:49:00.000-07:00

Yes, I'm aware I've been shirking my responsibilities as a roving recorder. Neck deep in festival season, I sit in a travel trailer with AC at full blast hoping to God that the sun ducks behind clouds. We're in Monticello, IA at the Great Jones County Fair and it's every bit of 95 degrees with about 90 percent humidity. The floods in this region have really screwed up the climate (not to mention the landscape) of the area. We played here three years ago with Rascal Flatts, the favorite band of Alex, our guitar player. Kidding...he likes Emerson Drive better. The dirt track which we perform on has now become a mud pit, which might make tonight's show turn into a combo concert/battle royal mud wrestling event.

Since I last wrote, we did a July 4th gig in Houston. It was really hot there too, but nothing like today. Then we headed to 54 degree weather in Calgary. Boy, I don't think that could have been a more welcome change. We did the three day run on one bus (12 of us). ML's bus broke down and couldn't make the trip and we couldn't get a replacement. It felt somewhat like summer camp. If you've ever wondered what Canada looks like, this is Kline in Regina, Saskatchewan.

We had a good border crossing back into the U.S. and got to run home for a couple quick days. Then back out for more festivals. We played Twin Lakes with Dierks and had a nice 600 mile drive to our next show. I went big time and got us a police escort out. We made it to Atchison, KS just in time to watch Blake's truck getting repeatedly stuck in the mud. The grounds were in such bad shape from rain we couldn't even get within 50 yards of the stage with the buses. At least I got my own Gator to use for the day to go back and forth.

You should have heard the sounds this thing made as I tried to figure out the transmission on it. Yes, it's an automatic but city boys don't know how to drive these things. I'M FROM DALLAS. The show went really well and we all look forward to more shows with Blake.

Oh yeah, ML has a Top 7 as of this week. It's her highest charting single to date. If lucky, we might eek into the Top 5 next week. It's a big lift.

Soundcheck time. But I promise more good banter on a semi-regular basis.

MORE TIME ON THE ROAD

2008-07-03T05:46:00.000-07:00

We began our week on the road with Osh Kosh, WI. We played with Dierks and Jack. It was a great day of getting to hang with all those guys. We really need to do some kind of tour together. Jack and ML hung for a long time and I always love when they do...I think she learns thing about the business by osmosis. I played a couple games of Xbox with Dierks. Those guys are really into Call of Duty and I had to defend our guys honor. After Osh Kosh we headed to Cadott. It was really nasty weather thru the course of the day, it rained like cats and dogs about an hour before we were to go on. We played with Brooks and Dunn and a couple others. It ended up being a really good show after the rain cleared. At the end of the night, we hung on the bus with Kellie Pickler, Blake (who had the night off) and his TM Kevin, and a couple others. Fun times. I crashed early as the whole crew was heading to Ronnie Dunn's bus for a big dance party. I hear it was a blast. I also hear that some unnamed crew members pulled the trigger and re-donated their dinner to the earth.

After Cadott, I rode back to Osh Kosh with ML while the band stayed behind to make friends with Chesney and camp. Blake was playing Osh Kosh. It rained almost the whole day. I spent some quality time with his band guys playing Tiger Woods on the bus. I wish I would have stayed in Osh Kosh and sent a sub to Milwaukee. We played SummerFest and it was an asswhip. They put us on a landlocked rinky dink stage that held about 2500 cram packed. Well, we had 3500 so imagine how cram packed. And, when it came load out time, they wouldn't let our truck back onto the grounds until after the park closed. It almost made us late to our next load in. Those folks need to learn how to do big shows on that stage if they're going to keep doing them. What a beatdown that whole day was. They did a show just before us called "Chick Singer Night" which was interesting. It was all girls singing songs to a live band and the audience voted on their favorite.

As much of a beatdown as Milwaukee was, Muskegon MI made up for it. We played with our buddy Eddie Perez (who is doing the Julianne Hough gig). I set up a vibe room early in the day and made mandatory hang time. I stocked it with about $100 worth of alcohol and told Eddie to call his crew and we'd rendezvous at the bar around 2. Kidding, had a throw a little to Biggie. Anyway, we all began to hang and our guys got along wonderfully with their guys and ML and Julianne really hit it off. Oh yea, the show was freaking amazing. We drew 12,000 and it was deafening. What a phenomenal place to play. I can't wait to get a couple pics to put up, but it was unbelievable. The stage had a 12 foot barricade and we built a thrust into the crowd that really made a huge difference. If people would listen to me more often on things this world might be a better place. Or I'd just have more bouts of self righteousness.

Go buy the new Reckless Kelly record, it just came out last week. Peace.

ROAD RECAP

2008-06-26T12:04:00.000-07:00

An eventful trip back out on the road. We started the run in Sault Ste Marie, Michigan (the northernmost city in Michigan...unless they've since been annexed by Canada which is about 2 miles away). I'd forgotten all about the Northern Lights and the changes in times of day when you're that far up there. We went on stage at 7 p.m. and played till 8:30 pm. When we walked off the stage and out the back door of the venue, the sun was almost blinding. It makes you feel groggy to know that the sun is shining all but 6 hours of the day.

From there we went to Walker MN. We played with our friends Cross Canadian Ragweed. I haven't seen my buddy Joel in forever, he and I have worked for the same bands playing the same clubs for years. He's a great guy, it was fun to get to catch up with him for a while. The gig sucked. The people had no idea what was going on, they actually threw Trace Adkins out of the artist catering because they didn't know who he was. You can imagine how everything flowed after that.

We had a great day off in Chicago on Sunday. We went and ate some killer BBQ with Ed Warm, owner of Joe's Bar. It's a place called Smoque (weird spelling, but still pronounced the same). I also took the opportunity to do some Michigan Ave shopping and grab some soup. I'm a big soup guy, so we stopped at Soup Life and I had some Shrimp and Crab bisque and a bowl of a spicy tomato based soup. Both were great. Al went with the Turkey Chili and he might have out-ordered me, it was damn good. We capped the afternoon sitting on the patio at Joe's drinking a couple Blue Moons and watching baseball. On our way back to the bus, we drove by Wrigley Field while the Cubs were playing the Sox. The Cubbies scored while we were right by the stadium and it was deafening. That's such a cool atmosphere down there. Everyone in that neighborhood tailgates in their yards even if they aren't going to the game. It's such a town team spirit. Here's a cool pic from Lakeshore Dr.

We ended up back at the hotel and got some much needed rest. Monday we started two days of rehearsals at the Sommet annex. Long days and nights but hopefully the crowds will see the benefit.

Back out on the road now for the first of five days out. Festival season means one thing...a lot of XBOX and dirt.

FLYING THE FRIENDLY SKIES

2008-06-20T17:52:00.000-07:00

This is actually the first blog I've ever written while airborne. At this moment, I'm on a Southwest 747 from Nashville to Chicago. It's about a 461 mile flight. Jet Fuel is running about $7 per gallon (from what my friend Glenn, who has his own plane, tells me). I cant imagine that this gas guzzling hunk of metal could guzzle enormous amounts of fuel while airborne, so let's just - for shits and giggles, say it takes 1000 gallons of fuel to get from Nashville to Chicago. I have really no idea what kid of fuel mileage they get, so 1000 gallons for a 461 mile trip seems safe. The total cost on that 1000 gallons is $7000.

Now lets say you pay each of the two pilots $1000 per day (plus benefits, so say another $100 per man). We're now at $8200 for fuel and pilots. Now, let's add in the ground crew. To be safe, lets average $30 per hour for each ground crew/baggage handlers who work a flight and lets say that each of them work one hour per flight. And for mathematical sake, lets say there are 10. We're now to $8500. A mechanic has to service the jet, refuel, empty the tanks, etc. Lets factor a couple of those in at $100 per hour. Up to $8700. Lest we forget the dear flight attendants and gate workers...average $500 per flight for six workers. Total jumped a little to $11700.

OH, I forgot the ticket counter folks...let's say $300 per day for those folks and average that two work per flight. We're now at $12,700. NOW, we need to assign a cost per aircraft per flight. I'm figuring that these big bitches probably cost about seven million dollars. They last for twenty years and are used every day multiple times, so....

Twenty years is 7300 days, and lets say each jet flies two flights per day. 7,000,000 divided by 7300 is just under $1000 per flight. Again, for simplification let's say $1000, I get $42 worth of padding for any parts that must be ordered/bought for service of the aircraft.

SHIT, I forgot the free drinks and peanuts. At the bulk the airlines buy drinks, they probably get them for $0.25 a piece, and say $0.05 for each bag of peanuts. SO, at 21 rows with six seats per row, we have 126 passengers who all get a beverage and two bags of salted or honey roasted (their choice) peanuts. Grand total for the nuts and drinks is $31.50 PLUS $12.60 EQUALS $47.10.

All in all, it brings our GRAND TOTAL to $13747.10. This includes all airport and airline personnel that are directly related to each flight, as well as fuel costs, maintenance and aircraft.

I haven't been on a flight in over a year that hasn't been either completely full or oversold. Let's just say the average one way ticket is $150 not counting taxes and the $3 airport fee), at 126 passengers that gross is $18900. That's $5000 per flight of PROFIT. And who are we kidding, most of these planes are flying three or four trips per day, so when you factor that it's $20000 per plane per day. And if you have 100 aircraft in your fleet, we're talking $2,000,000 profit per day. TWO MILLION DOLLARS PER DAY. I'm sure I'm leaving out some major expense, like the damn Spirit magazine that occupies my time so well, or maybe the maintenance costs of the award winning website. But if you can't thrive on making TWO MILLION DOLLARS PER DAY in flight profit something is sadly wrong.

All that to say that American just started charging to check even one bag and next month US Airways will begin to charge $3 for their in flight beverages (non-alcoholic).

I wrote in this blog last month that Canada Customs was the biggest racket I'd ever seen, but I stand corrected.

FAREWELL TIM...

2008-06-19T16:53:00.000-07:00

I'm sure, unless you've had your head in the ground for several days, that you've heard about the sudden death of NBC political commentator and world renowned journalist Tim Russert. As I flipped on Headline News to see the events unfolding, I stood in front of the TV with my mouth agape. Russert had the desire to study and report "the effect of tragedy on the human spirit" and I can't think of anything more ironic than the effect his death has on a nation.

Russert first captured me in the long, drawn out drama of the 2000 presidential election...I was never brainy enough (or awake) to catch "Meet The Press." He was so excitable during that election coverage, it made the hours upon hours of coverage seem like minutes. He had that stupid little dry erase board. After that, he started showing up on panels during evening news programs and special Washington D.C. coverage.He just had that face and charisma that could capture everyone from the pundits to the grease monkeys. I guess that's why it was no surprise to me when I found out during all the drama after his death that he was a huge fan of Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band. Raised in NY, son of a laborer, paid his dues for a number of years...it's enchanting to see someone you admire drawn to the same things you are. It makes you wonder if the two of you would be friends. That also brings up a point that I always remember from the movie "High Fidelity." Cusack, at one point in the movie, expounds on the fact that "What really matters is what you like, not what you're like." This is a great point, people don't care about your personality anymore, they care about what you're into. It's like a fear of being "in the dark." This made me think of a conversation I had with Chris Wall about "The Last Waltz" by The Band. That movie (The Last Waltz) is like a secret society...if someone knows you've seen it you gain instant credibility. If you haven't seen it, you're in the dark and people just shut down about anything cool in your presence. If you've seen it 10 times and quote it from memory, they make you their leader (I know this, I've watched it a triple digit amount of times...maybe quadruple). I bet you all the money in the world that Tim Russert had seen "The Last Waltz."

So, we come full circle.

In a world where, these days, very few journalists are driven by a quest for truth, honor and integrity, Russert perfected that balance and managed to charm a world in the meantime. For someone like me who doesn't want to be preached to from a political pedestal, yet wants to understand all sides of the issues, Russert was my guy. I'll miss his wry humor, boyish enthusiasm and quality reporting. He helped shape the last 15 years of a nation's culture and, while others push agendas and become notorious for outlandish reporting, he did it the right way. Farewell Tim.

DOES THIS MAKE ME A DOUCHEBAG??

2008-06-04T07:11:00.000-07:00

Last night, on PBS, I watched the 90 min Vegas show of Celine Dion. The show "A New Day" ran for 5 years and was sold out almost every night at 4000 tickets per show. In 717 performances over those 5 years they grossed $400 million dollars. Anyway, I watched the show out of production curiosity. Of course, there were some amazing effects and designs that, given the financial windfall, I'll definitely rip off and use somewhere. However, I did realize two things while watching this special...A) Celine Dion is the greatest singer alive today and B) Celine Dion is the most awkward human being alive today. While listening to how beautiful her voice is, you can't help but notice how uncoordinated and contrived she is. Her attempts to connect with the crowd make me cringe...maybe there is some demographic that don't see thru it and find it amazingly entertaining (like, maybe my grandmother or someone who speaks only Swahili) but to me it's almost as entertaining to watch her awkwardness as it is to watch her talent. I think since she cut her last single, the song "Taking Chances" written by Dave Stewart of the Eurythmics, I'm finally comfortable enough in myself to admit that I watched this show. It might make me a douchebag, but I'm not scared.

On an unrelated note, it's Fan Fair week in Nashville. Now I believe the politically correct name is CMA Music Fest, but it's still Fan Fair. And being my first Fan Fair while living in Nashville, it's been the most unreal thing to watch. Complete idiots driving down the wrong way on Music Row. People walking across the interstate into oncoming traffic. All the hotel lobbies jammed with overweight folks in hawaiian shirts and New Balance shoes. Wow. I need to start traveling during Fan Fair.

80's Babies

2008-06-01T05:55:00.000-07:00

I was born in the 70's but definitely came of age in the 80's, and looking back now it was extremely hard to find good music from that time period. I remember those times in the summer, swimming in my grandmothers pool with the radio tuned to the pop station. You'd hear some pure shit ("Oh Sheila" or "We Built This City", but also great things like the Eurythmics, Fleetwood Mac doing "Little Lies" and Robert Palmer's rise as a solo artist.

However, one artist stood out and in the last two months his meteoric rise has been reinvented in another generation. BRYAN ADAMS IS BACK, BABY. After putting out several acoustic, live and independent releases, Adams is all over the airwaves and television with his new release "11". I bought it on iTunes yesterday and I'm gonna dive into it very soon, but I can already tell you it's going to be great. Adams is a timeless artist, a pure singer and songwriter who has consistently made great music over the past 25 years. He fucking ROCKS. However, why is he so forgotten? Is it because very little came out of the 80's that was decent?

Adams had great commercial success (and came dangerously close to jumping the shark with his 1991 smash from Robin Hood, but only because of HOW HUGE it actually was) but will never be on the same credibility level as U2 or Springsteen or even a Tears for Fears. It's a damn shame, because he's still touring and still putting out records that sound great. I'll confirm that shortly, but I can tell you now it's true.

And when Bryan Adams comes thru town this summer, you can bet your ass I'm gonna be there with every other 80's baby. I don't know if it's from nostalgia or the fact he rocks, but I'll be there.

FAIRS AND FESTIVALS UPON US

2008-05-31T06:32:00.000-07:00

After quickly soaking in ML's Album of the Year win, we were right back out on the road. No rest for the weary. We left Thursday night for a run to Camdenton MO, Little Rock AR and Fort Worth. Camdenton was a very odd show. We headlined a show at an amphitheater there and, to be brutally honest, we're not quite ready to headline amphitheaters much less in Camdenton MO. The place held 14000, we had about 3000. It was a humbling experience to say the least. And the promoter was about as bright as my new black Justin boots (thanks Lisa). ML did get some hang time with Ashton Shepherd, a new artist on Universal that she's really into. Nice girl, country as all get out.

We rolled from Camdenton to Little Rock where we were headlining Riverfest, a big multi-stage festival located (you guessed it) on the river. We found out early in the day that Better Than Ezra and One Republic were playing the stage across the river from us. I'm a HUGE BTE fan and have liked what I've heard from One Republic. About 3 pm, our stage manager finds me and tells me that the Tour Manager from One Republic knows a bunch of our guys and wants my number. I passed it on and, sure enough, it's the guy who used to be out with Emerson Drive. We did a couple dates with them early on. Nice dude, lives in Nashville. He's getting ready to leave on an 80-day run to Europe with Coldplay. Man, I'm glad I was nice to that guy. Talk about gig-stepping, that guy took a leap.

After the show in Little Rock ML had some firneds/family in town and they wanted to go to a local bar. I was worn out and Tony volunteered to escort the ladies (of course he did!). They walked over to the piano bar and snuck in the back door. After hanging a couple hours, it was time for bus call. Here's what Tony told me about the events of the late evening...

"You know, I've got a lot to learn. I've wathed you get police escorts out for ML's bus where they put a car in front and a car behind and escort you to the interstate. And I've seen you get three of four cops to walk her thru an audience. But, when I ask for a police escort I think I need to be more specific on my needs..."

Yes, folks. That is an equine escort. Tony asks for an escort back to the bus and he gets two cops on horseback. I guess if ML was bothered by fans the cops could have the horses swat their tails at them. And I'm sure that two 700 pounders (the horses, not the cops) didn't draw much attention to the 5 females and the one guy with the giant mohawk moving briskly thru the crowded area. Wow. Tony, kudos to you on a job well tried.

On Sunday we did downtown Fort Worth for Wolfdance. It was hotter than hell, damn near 100 degrees. No backstage, no dressing rooms, no catering, nothing. Total brutality, and if it hadn't been for the 15000 people that showed up to sing every word it would have been a disastrous evening. But, as it stood, it ended up being probably the best Texas show we've ever done. But I've never been more relieved to get on a bus at the end of the night and fall asleep. I guess I need to get back in the groove of fairs and festivals.

VEGAS BABY, VEGAS!

2008-05-24T17:48:00.000-07:00

So we headed down to Atlanta for a show Friday (May 15) in Atlanta with our buddy Dierks. It felt like home being back with those guys after touring with them for so long. We played Lakewood Amphitheater which we've played a couple other times. Great crowd, I think we had about 12,000. After the show we got to spend a little time with those guys, I sat on the bus talking to Tim and Rod from DB band about life. We rolled back to the hotel and readied ourselves for the ACM's.

Chris Newsom and I flew early A.M. to Vegas while the band and ML followed later in the morning. We flew Delta which, by the way, has turned into a really nice airline. Every seat had personal TV's with free movies, free TV and games. I watched Charlie Wilson's War and it helped pass the time. What a great movie. We landed in Vegas and stood in a line for 40 minutes to get a cab. Vegas is big on lines, I picked up on this on the trip.

We rehearsed for the show on Saturday afternoon and then had a little time for R&R on Saturday night. We all went and partied with our buddies Ed and Tommy from Joe's Bar in Chicago. They rented out a bar inside the MGM and all of Ingram, Keith Urban and a bunch of other band/crew dudes showed up to help us celebrate the festivities.

Sunday was back to all business. We rehearsed again Sunday morning and then came showtime. We played "Gunpowder and Lead" for the show and our performance was early in the show. It went off great (backdrops, pyro and all). We finished and headed to the bus to get ML changed and re-seated. We weren't tuned into the show and my wife called to tell me that my old boss Jack had won Best New Male Vocalist. I was elated, but not nearly has much as when ML took home the Album of the Year award in a surprise upset. I jumped about six feet off the ground. Very electrifying. The night became one to celebrate...and celebrate I did.

We went straight from the show to the All Star Jam and Miranda played a couple tunes. I did sneak a picture with one celeb. Alex assbagged me and jumped into my picture at the last second. He's got a knack for doing that.

Then we headed to the Sony party which had a spread like you wouldn't believe. Shrimp, crab legs (pre cracked...high class baby), and lots of other goodies. After a couple quick pics we headed to the West Wing Bar inside the MGM where we'd rented the back room. We had a blast. My buddy John Eddie showed up and suddenly I looked up and it was 2:30 am. I stumbled back to the room and, after a short time of praising the porcelain gods, I was in bed. I set four alarms for various times the next morning...our lobby call was 5 a.m. At 5:10 am, after sleeping thru four alarms, I finally awoke to Eddie Perez asking if I would be making the flight. I sprinted to the elevator and jumped in the cab. We made the flight, but it was a rough travel day.

I landed in Nashville around 2 pm and was hungover until 10 pm the next night. Well worth it, though. Oh, and I did the sprinkler.

THE BIGGEST RACKET

2008-05-10T14:16:00.000-07:00

So since the strange happenings in California we've had another few shows and another wonderful day off. We left Fresno and headed to Bend, OR on our way to the first Alan Jackson date in Spokane, WA. We set up camp at a Hampton Inn next to a mall. Weather was a little chilly, but Bend was a cool place. Even on a Tuesday. A bunch of the guys went to the mall next door and hit the Macy's sale rack. We all went for a big dinner at the end of the night (with the exception of two guys who wandered into the local gentlemen's establishement). We went to a place called The Blacksmith. Aden had seen it on the Food Network, apparently it was named one of the Top 10 new restaurants in the world a couple years ago. It definitely lived up to the hype. I had the Rancher Ribye, a bone in 16 oz steak with a light BBQ glaze. It was great. I tried a couple other guys dishes, ML had the halibut in a cream sauce. It was unreal. We all got stuffed and jumped into the cab to head home. Right as we all climbed into the cabs, a call came thru the dispatcher to pick up a two patrons at Stars Strip Club and drop them at the tour buses at the Hampton Inn. Immediately we all knew that the two missing from dinner had their own adventures that evening. We returned to the buses and immediately busted them for their debauchery.

We rolled into Spokane and started our four Alan Jackson dates the next day. Spokane was good. We headed to Portland for Thursday's show. After the gig we loaded everyone up and headed to The Cellar, a cool basement bar in downtown Portland. When we arrived, there were only about 8 people int he bar, including this couple sitting in the corner making out.

After repeated lines like "I think he's gonna pork her, Dad!" and "Get a room!" and then Kline yanking a chair out from under the woman's feet, they'd had enough of our party and left. Just before they did, we pulled a joke and Alex and almost had him convinced that the guy in the picture was former Olympic ice skater Scott Hamilton and were trying to talk him into breaking their liplocks to ask for a picture. ML spoiled the joke and told him we were messing with him.

We laid low in Tacoma the next night in prep for our border crossing into Canada, which brings me to my big finish rant. There is no one in the world on a bigger power trip than border agents. Last night, after letting two buses of Alan's crew guys cross with no problem the border agents then began to get surly. They not only stopped Alan's bus and made him get out, they pulled all 16 of us off of the buses and made us go thru immigration. One of our guys had a Class C misdemeanor from 9 years ago and has successfully entered Canada three previous times, but this time they decided it was time to bend him over. They denied him admission even though he had papers showing his dismissal of the charges after probation was completed. They allowed him to enter, but made him pay $200 for a temporary admission permit. I attempted to smooth talk my way into an argument but they were having none of it, so i just pulled out the credit card and gave them the finger...well, in my mind, at least.

Nothing pisses me off more than over zealous border agents with nothing better to do than fuck with the people who have already jumped through hoops to do things the right way. I'm sure if we would have just driven by the checkpoint we would have made it back with no problems. That's what I get for being a stand up tour manager. I can't wait to do it all again tonight. Anyone detect the sarcasm?

A STRANGE LIFE I LEAD...

2008-05-05T17:10:00.000-07:00

So the Reno show went well. Eddie did a great job filling in. Show really rocked, buffet was decent but it's been a while since we've had a great casino buffet. I think quality is falling across the board at casino buffets in general.

Eddie had a show with Dwight on Saturday so Chris Kline was tapped for filling Scotty's parts during the show. About 90 mins before the show, I get a frantic call that a window has been broken on our band bus. I race to the bus to find that, indeed, a window had been broken on our band bus. Shocking. Apparently, it was some kind of weird pressure issue and it's a one in a million thing that just happened. So we began to deal with it and try and find a replacement. We finished the show and prepared for our day off at Konocti Harbor the following day (Sunday).

I woke early and grabbed breakfast and hit the marina. I got a boat and made a few turns around the lake. It was a little chilly, so i headed back after about an hour. Our drivers met me on the dock and had located a window in Ontario, CA (about 9 hours away). We devised a plan that we'd fly Chris Newsom to pick up the window and he could drive it to Fresno. I booked him a flight out of the nearest airport, Sacramento, and arranged everything for "Operation Window."

We departed Kelseyville around noon and I made it to Sacramento and dropped Newsom at 1:50 at the airport. I began my drive back to the resort. About halfway thru the mountainous drive, I stopped at a Shell gas station on the side of the road. They had a small eatery in the back and I got a grilled Green Chili burrito. As I got back in the car with my lunch, I then realized how odd this whole thing seemed. I'm driving a guy across central California in a borrowed car to an airport so he can fly across California and pick up a bus window and drive it four hours to the next gig. I can't recall my job interview for this gig, or any of my previous jobs, but I don't remember that ever being a qualification or in the job description. I think it falls under "OTHER."

To make a long story even longer, the glass company showed up today to install and the window didn't fit. So all of our hustle and bustle was for naught. A sad ending to the tale.

In lighter news, Scotty Wray is doing better. He came out of his surgery today and they'd had to do a quadruple bypass. The doctor said it went better than expected and hopefully Scotty is on his way to recovery.

We're about 90 mins from showtime and I need to get ready.

ON THE ROAD SANS OUR GURU

2008-05-01T14:04:00.000-07:00

Sitting at Nashville airport ready to catch an ass long flight to Reno (thru Vegas). Unfortunately, this trip will be without our spiritual guru, Scotty Wray. Scotty is cooped up in a hospital bed with a looming open heart surgery scheduled for Monday morning. Apparently late in the weekend he started having problems breathing and, come to find out, he's been having mini heart attacks for some time. He's in Baylor Hospital in Dallas and I'm sure he's missing us (especially me) as much as we'll be missing him. We did, however, find a suitable replacement for Scotty for the time being. Eddie Perez will be assuming Scotty's multiple duties in his absence. Eddie currently plays for Dwight Yoakum and was a member of The Mavericks for several years. Scotty even admitted having a man crush in him. He's also been in about 100 music videos because his wife is Trey Fanjoy, famed video director and he somehow sneaks in a bunch. You can see his mug briefly in "Famous in a Small Town."

In the meantime, say your prayers, praise Allah, keep your fingers crossed - whatever your pleasure - for Scotty Wray's speedy recovery.

We're heading for a long West Coast run. It's been a couple weeks since we've been on the road but it feels even longer. We hit Reno, Kelseyville CA, Friant CA, Bend OR, Portland OR, Tacoma WA, Vancouver and a couple other places before returning home.

In other news, I got a free pair of boots from Justin. It's been a long time since I've worn boots consistently, it's taken a little getting used to. I got the pointiest, blackest things you can imagine (go figure). Also in other news, I've successfully linked up to online Madden on XBOX. My college roommate Jake and I have been playing like fiends almost daily. Oh, and how could I forget the whole ML assault charge (turned filing a false complaint charge). That's a whole other entry, I'll wait till I'm short on material to delve into that. For now, I'll sign off and board a 4 hour flight to Reno, layover in Vegas for 90 mins and then another hour and a half to Reno.

TWILIGHT ZONE

2008-04-13T02:20:00.000-07:00

Do you ever have one of those moments where you feel like you're in an episode of the Twilight Zone? It's 4:21 AM and I''ve spent the night in Love Field Airport. We finished our show at Lone Star Park and rolled out a few hours ago, my bus was rolling to Oklahoma and I figured it would be easier to just sleep in terminal. I was wrong. I'm on an uncomfortable chair with no way to fall asleep and I have Kenny G blaring over the loud speaker. About 10 minutes ago two drunk chicks came in and just unpacked a bottle of champagne. Apparently they're on their way to Jazzfest in New Orleans. They're starting a little early. TSA just came by and made them get rid of their open container, so they did so by pounding the bottle. Thank Christ they're not going to be on my flight. Two more hours to take off, I'm just ready for them to open up the freaking gates so I can lay on carpet.

Gig tonight wasn't nearly as bad as I thought. If you haven't spent the day in a suite at Lone Star Park you haven't lived. It's nice to be waited on hand and foot. I didn't lose any money on the ponies...probably because I didn't bet.

I think the two girls are getting thrown out of the airport now. This is pretty funny.

GO BUY IT ON iTUNES

2008-04-11T14:45:00.000-07:00

If you haven't gotten the new Black Crowes record you need to. It's great, southern rock in its' truest form. It's a return to what the Crowes are good at. While you're at it, also get "Brothers of a Feather: Chris and Rich Robinson". It's the record the brothers made. It's acoustic and "Drivin' Wheel" is a standout track.

Also, it's really humid in Corpus Christi. It barely sprinkled this morning before soundcheck and now it's sweltering. Times like this don't make me years for Texas gigs much.

It's not gonna get better tomorrow, we're doing Lone Star Park in Dallas and it's gonna be an asswhip.

BACK OUT ON THE ROAD

2008-04-06T11:21:00.000-07:00

So after two weeks off around Easter, we've finally gotten back out on the road. I did have a short trip "home" to Shreveport for a day to see my friend Scott who now resides in London. It was a surreal moment seeing all the changes to that town. Scott and I drove out to the lake where we used to park and drink, as well as ate at many of our old haunts. We capped the night sitting on his mom's lakefront porch eating fresh Louisiana crawfish and drinking beer. It felt great to be back in Louisiana.

We started this weekend on Friday in Greenville, SC. We played a kicker bar called the Blind Horse. There were massive thunderstorms all day and I was a little worried about turnout, but we ended up with 1542 paid. And of course the bar pulled the old "keep the air off so they drink more beer" trick until about halfway thru the show, so it ended up about 110 degrees in the building until late in the evening. We've always had good shows in South Carolina. They've also got some great BBQ around there. We chowed down on some roasted pig that a guy had cooking all day outside the venue. His smoker was about the size of my house. The line at this thing looked like African refugees waiting on a humanitarian drop. It was unreal how many drunks will pay $5 for some BBQ at 1 a.m.

We rolled from there about two hours down the road to Columbia, SC for a show with George Strait on Saturday. We toured with George in 2006 but haven't played with them since. It was a good turnout, especially considering these two shows we're doing with him are make-up dates. It's a challenge for us because the stage is in the round, so someone is always looking at your ass. Well, not mine, but everyone elses. My cousin Lindsey came out and hung with me for a while. She's 21 and it's weird to see her all grown up. She lives in Charleston about 100 miles from Columbia. After she left I walked down to the green room to check ont he guys and found a jar of moonshine being passed around. This was the site I saw when I walked in...

Today we're in Jacksonville, FL. We've managed to hit every bit of rain that has been in the air all week. It just finished pouring and now the sun is coming out. It always rains in Florida, I don't understand the appeal of this state.

I fly home to Nashville in the morning. I'm on Southwest and I've got to bitch about their new program. They have a Frequent Flyer program that anyone who flies 60 times in a year gets automatic "A" group boarding. I've flown them 86 times in two years, but I can't seem to get my 60 flights to fall within a a calendar year. So tomorrow I get stuck in "B" group and will have to sit in the middle, most likely next to the lady with the screaming sick kid. I'm gonna boycott if they don't give me the damn automatic "A" soon.

I'm gonna go home and prepare for the beatdown Texas shows we have next week. And probably get a few Xbox games under my belt.

THE HEARTLAND

2008-03-18T01:57:00.000-07:00

So after a couple days of international travel we began a weekend trek through the heartland. We began in Wichita, KS. We packed about 1250 into the Cotillion on a Thursday night. It was a very cool room, it reminded me very much of The Surf Ballroom in Clear Lake, IA where we've played a couple times. It's been there for over 50 years and just has history built into the rafters. This was a good shot our keyboard player, Chris Kline, took from the stage...

We went from Wichita to Columbia, MO for a show at the Blue Note that we'd sold out in advance. Columbia is such a cool little college town. They've got great thrift stores up and down the strip and we had some phenomenal food while we were there. We had Italian for lunch from a place called Bambinos and then ordered from the Jamican Jerk Hut for dinner. We had a buffet of jerk chicken, curried shrimp and brown stew chicken. All of it was great. Despite being a production nightmare, the show went really well. The folks ate it up. We've got an opening act named Adam Hood out with us playing solo acoustic and riding with us and he did a great job in Columbia, the crowd really dug him. After the show we all went to a little bar called Mojo's, which Alex told the entire crowd we would. It was good getting to hang with everyone for a few minutes in a non-work environment. I headed back to the bus pretty quickly and got a great nights sleep.

On Saturday we rolled into Des Moines, IA to the Val Air Ballroom. It's probably a club we'll never play again. The owner was this guido looking Tony Soprano assmuncher and the club had about as much ability to rig as my bathroom. We ended up with 1000 people which wasn't bad considering we got no radio support for the show.

Tomorrow (Sunday) we drop Adam at the OKC airport and roll into ML's neck of the woods. We're going for a day off at her and Blake's places and plan a lazy day of eating BBA and fishing and sitting around. I'm up for it after the busy couple weeks we've had.

THE FUN CONTINUES

2008-03-12T10:07:00.000-07:00

7 PM

Aden, Newsom, Kline, Keith and I all went out for some local fare at Champion House, an island fave. I had the curried goat/oxtail combo with a bowl of conch chowder. It was very reasonable...about the only thing on the island that was. The whole meal cost me $20 Cayman, equivalent to $25 USD. On the way out, some local drunk was picking up some to go food and apparently had never seen a mohawk. He looked at Aden and began yellong "Fuck mon...that's fucking great mon." The whole place began watching us watching him. He than let out a large fart and began laughing uncontrollably. Different strokes for different folks.

We headed back to the hotel but stopped off at a cigar bar just across the street from the Westin. We all went in and smoked a cuban cigar. I went with the Montecristo #2, a fav I discovered when in the Netherlands several years ago. We also had Cristal, a light Cuban beer. I didn't like it as much as I did Caybrew, the beer brewed on the island, but still good. Tired as well from the time change and all the traveling, we turned in shortly after the party broke up around 11 pm. Those "heavenly beds" at the Westin are just that...I slept like a rock.

MAR 10 - 9 AM

Tony and I went for breakfast at the Westin buffet. Mistake. The buffet was about like a Shoney's, the only saving grace was the fresh mango. All in all, it cost us about $25 USD. Aen went across the street to the cafe and got a buffet and coffee for $10 USD. Live and learn.

At 10 am, the crew was going for load in and realized we'd left a piece of gear at the airport. I headed that way with a claim ticket, my driver helped talk me into the back door of the baggage area and I found the bag. I took it over to the Ritz where the crew was getting set up. If you haven't been to the Ritz in Grand Cayman you haven't seen what heaven looks like. It's amazing and serves to remind you that you need to make a lot more money.

12 PM

Back at the Ritz for soundcheck. They have a nice stage set up in the Courtyard behind the Ritz. It backs up to a lagoon with stairs leading down to a small boat ramp. I walked over to this boat ramp to sit dow and call my wife. As she answered, I noticed something about two feet from me shuffle a little bit. It was this...

Yes folks, that is an island iguana that measured about three feet in length. You can imagine my surprise when the little fellow turned my way. It was enough for everyone to stop soundcheck and come take pics of the thing.

After soundcheck we had a couple hours so I ran over to the beach for a little time. Keith and Kline went sailing. This is what the beach looked like. Very much like the Corona commercial.

After all this fun, we still had a show to do. A corporate gig at that. It went really well. A beautiful set up that probably cost way more money than I'll ever have, the party was made up of a bunch of financial people that probably wait a whole year to cut loose. When it was done, Kline and I made our way back to the cigar bar for one last Cuban treat.

We flew home very early Tuesday morning. The only thing worse than the Cayman airport is probably the Miami airport. It's a zoo. I made it home shortly after lunch and instead of catching up on rest I'm writing this blog and dreaming about blue water and white sand.

Off to Wichita...

CRS BEGINS AND ENDS, THE BEACH AWAITS

2008-03-09T21:15:00.000-07:00

CRS started with a bang. We got the call on Thursday night that CBS Early show would be broadcasting live from Nashville and wanted us to play. It was their "ACM Nominations Revealed" show. After talking production all day Friday, Chris Newsom and I showed up to The Wildhorse on Monday for a walkthrough of our battleground for Tuesday. They're also shooting another TV show there in addition to it being the site for CBS Early Show. We loaded in at 7 pm that night...well, we were scheduled to but TV is always late so it was more like 9 pm. That lasted until bedtime at 1 am and I had to wake Miranda at 3:30 am for glam. It ws worth it, ML was nominated for three ACM awards...a great honor for all of us. We had a successful show and wrapped at 8 am. Our day continued with promo and more TV. We taped the Crook and Chase Show which is back on the air after ten years off. Don't worry, they haven't changed a bit. Charlie CHase is still wearing the same turtleneck and the average age of the crowd was 77. It was somewhat comical. Wednesday was more promo and Thursday we performed on the Sony Boat. For any of you who don't know what this is, Sony rents out a huge riverboat and fills it with about 800 of our closest friends in radio programming. Then they bring in ten to twelve major touring acts to share a ratty drum kit and mediocre backline to perform with minimal set change in between. Makes for a fun time, at least they have an open bar.

So we wrapped CRS in Nashville and snuck out just before the snow creeped into town. We pulled out at 5 pm on Friday and it took us 5 1/2 hours to make it to Memphis. Then Nashville got saddled with 6 inches of snow. I'm a little depressed I didn't get to see it, my wife tells me she built a snowman.

We drove all that way to Austin for the rodeo and when we got there ML had no voice. I called an ENT doctor we know in San Antonio who gave her a magic shot but aparently it wasn't magical enough. By early afternoon she still had no voice. We were forced to cancel but luckily my buddy (and former employer) Jack Ingram was able to step in. He did a pretty dang good job given the five hour notice. So after all that work of loading in, soundchecking, doing will call lists, stuffing envelopes and changing my shirt we never even played a note. Not one. Silence. The alternative to alternative.

SO, that brings us to 7:48 am, which really feels like 6:48 am because of the time change last night, and is going to feel like 5:48 am once we fly into Eastern Time. We're sitting at DFW ready to board a big ol' jet airliner bound for Grand Cayman (via Miami). Unfortunately, we have to fly down for three days for a private party on the beach. They're having Seal the following night. I don't mean they're dining on it, I mean Seal will be performing. You know, the "And we're never gonna survive, UNNNNNNNNless, we get a little Crazy." The guy who's nailing Heidi Klum. So, some insurance company is bringing us in for 250 of their closest friends for a down home Grand Cayman beach party. We are traveling on work visas where apparently I will be a Tour Coordinator instead of a "manager" and my sound guys will be "Technicians" as opposed to "engineers". Weird shit...for some reason work visas are cheaper if you don't use important titles like engineer or manager.

11 AM

So we just landed in Miami on the first leg of our flight to Grand Cayman. Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz are boarding a plane across the gate from us for some other tropical destination. Our guitar player, Alex, is star struck. He wants to do a walk by to check her out. Oldest trick in the book, you see them coming a mile away. By the way, Miami airport is a total shithole with very little attractive dining options. Our choice in terminal E is either Pizza Hut or some deli that serves their sandwiches on 18 inch skinny bread (Cuban style). Their menu that hangs over the counter is that old yellowed Coca Cola menu you used to see at snack bars in the mid-80's. Makes you hunger, doesn't it?

Our flight is delayed 30 mins, I'm really ready to be there.

3 PM

WE"RE HERE! Just arrived at The Westin Casuarina, our place of residence for the next two nights. Our rooms aren't ready so I'm hanging in the lobby/bar drinking a mojito and waiting for Pedro to give me a room key. This is the place where they filmed part of The Firm. The scene where his wife is eating dinner with Gene Hackman happened about 30 feet from where I pen this creative diatribe of events. Very beautiful, I'm definitely going to make my way into the surf and sand shortly. i just text messaged our booking agent and told him to please book many more private gigs and especially when they're in the Carribean. I could surely get used to this.

Grand Cayman adventures to be continued...Pictures to follow as well.

RETURNING TO THE SCENE OF THE CRIME

2008-03-03T07:50:00.000-08:00

In early 2004 I had the lovely experience of doing a Pat Green opener at a club in Fort Myers, FL called Ricochet. The runner vehicle was monster truck which was later used in the video of Jason Aldean's "Hicktown." You can go watch the video on CMT.com to get a better sense of what we're dealing with here. It's about a 1000 capacity club in South Florida, widely known as the biggest redneck area of the U.S. Needless to say, when I saw it pop up on ML's tour schedule I was a bit worried. However, not nearly as worried as I was when I went to advance the show and the friendly club owner told me (two weeks in advance) that he already had the Patron chilling and he didn't know about stage size or security but that our drinks would all be on the house. Boy, what a relief that is for a tour manager.

The gig actually went really well. The runner is still driving a monster truck, though he has upgraded since my last trip to a newer model. While carrying the band to the hotel he informed them that his son had recently blown all the tweeters and horns of the $10000 system by listening "to that goddamned heavy metal bullshit." You can't make this shit up, people.

After a sellout in Fort Myers we headed to the Strawberry Festival in Plant City, FL. Charley Pride played the sold out afternoon show where the average age of the patron was about 74. It didn't get much better for us, we had a dismal crowd who were trained by security to stay in their seats and golf clap at the end of every song. This doesn't bode well for an act who gives their best high energy show. However, the festival was kind enough to send us on our way with twenty four dozen fresh strawberries (thats 288 strawberries if your math is a little rusty) in an attempt to bribe our return. My GI track is still recovering.

Then on Saturday we played for about 1200 new Army recruits at Ft. Bragg in Fayetteville NC. These shows are always fun. We wrapped and headed for Nashville where we're gearing up for a week of Country Radio Seminar. We've got a couple TV appearances and a bunch of promo. This show will likely resemble a money fucking a football. More to follow in the coming days, right now I have to go meet with CBS about our 2 a.m. load in for tomorrows show. Have I mentioned I love TV?

ANYONE GOT A LEER I CAN BORROW?

2008-02-23T12:27:00.000-08:00

Ok, so at last entry we were in Cleveland at the House of Blues. Right as we went on stage it began to lightly snow. Well, somewhere in our 90 min show it began to REALLY snow. I swung open the back door to walk ML to the bus when she came off stage and this is what it looked like outside.

Also, to show how much it actually snowed in 90 minutes (about 2 inches), I took a picture of my footprints in the snow. This is what it looks like when you're trying to trudge through the snow in Chuck Taylors.

OK, so we managed to get out of Cleveland, but round about Detroit our transmission on ML's bus decided it was only going to work a half day. We lost 4th and 5th gear and couldn't run over 50 mph for the rest of the 300 miles to Petoskey, MI. I don't know if any of you know where Petoskey, MI is, but if you look at a map it's the very tip of the mitten that is Michigan. It's as far north on the mainland as you can go.

We limped into the gig right at load in, kicked everyone off and sent the bus in for repair hoping it would be a quick fix. You guessed it...it wasn't. So we all piled in the band bus (13 of us) and rode the 610 miles to Prior Lake, MN. We found some guy named Blaine at the gig in Petoskey with a big truck and paid him to haul our other trailer to Minnesota. It was like being at summer camp...a shitload of people all in the front lounge. I slept on the couch since we had no other open bunks. Then we got the call today that the bus won't be fixed until Monday, so at the present time I'm trying to get a bus to Prior Lake to get us. They're not really easy to come by in Michigan or Minnesota.

And needless to day, it's a little bit of an ego bruising when you have to have some guy in a bright red "Blaine's Excavating" truck bring your gear to the loading dock. Humbling.

To top it all off, we hit up the casino buffet around 11 am for lunch and I made the mistake of putting anchovies on my wonderful salad creation. I've been paying for that all day, and so have those that have been standing downwind of me. Oh yeah, and I left my bag on the bus because I figured it would be back in time. I have only the clothes on my back and my toiletry bag.

So if any of you reading this in blogland have a private jet you're willing to donate I'd be more than happy to borrow it for a couple days. I can hook you up with a couple tickets and meet/greets. Takers???

THE BITTER CHILL

2008-02-21T13:36:00.000-08:00

There's a line in the Jerry Jeff song "Life On The Road" that says "Don't go up North in the Spring and Fall." I think he's been to Cleveland OH in late February. We're at the House of Blues here tonight. Last time we were here John Eddie opened for us. Tonight should be fun.

Tomorrow we play Petoskey MI at a casino. I just checked the weather. It's 13 degrees there right now. And no, folks, it's not Celsius. The high tomorrow is 22 and the low is 7. Then on to Prior Lake, MN where it's no better. We're surely in for a cold one this weekend. It's that kind of cold that makes your knuckles hurt, your lips chapped and your body ache. And to top it all off, I think I'm coming down with something. Maybe it's all in my head since everyone else has had it.

For the last few hours in the production office I kept feeling like someone was staring at me. It was only after I'd been in here for about 5 hours that I noticed this...

Yeah, that's painted on the wall. Some kind of WWII pilot guy. It's kind of haunting sitting here and feeling his eyes on you the whole time. You don't expect to find that in the backstage of a House of Blues.

TO THE NEAREST EXIT, PLEASE...

2008-02-18T08:59:00.000-08:00

So we wrapped our show in Canada around 9:30 pm. Decent show, we sold 3100 tickets but the crowd was a little cold and subdued from the weather outside. And it was Valentines night, which I can't imagine provides a good backdrop for a show. Anyway, we busted ass and got out of the casino around 11:15 pm. It had started snowing very lightly around 5 pm, but by the time we rolled it was near blizzard like conditions. And when you pull onto the road and snow is being kicked up in front of you as well as falling on you it makes for pretty fun times if you're behind the wheel. The only other time I've seen it so bad was Feb. 2007 when we trekked through Oregon and Montana with Dierks Bentley. The size of the snowflakes was about the size of a 50 cent piece and all you saw was white in front of you. We had to drive 20 mph for about 4 hours until it would let up. The 260 mile drive to Bozeman took us about 8 hours.

OK, so we hit the border and I'm expecting flogging and cavity searches. I jumped out at the Canada side while my drivers backed in to their loading docks and, low and behold, the Canadian folks took one look at my papers and stamped them. I was back on the bus by the time they had parked successfully. So off we went across Peace Bridge to the U.S. side where they had promised to board and search us on our re-entry. We pulled up to the booth, the young guy jumped out and up onto our bus. Within about 30 seconds he started talking hunting with ML, called two of his customs buddies up on the bus and we all began to have a little pow wow. I reached into a bag and pulled out three longsleeve black "Kerosene" T's and passed them around to my dear friends from the US Customs. Jimmy Buffett wrote in his autobiography that he breached customs in at least a dozen countries by simply carrying a box of T-Shirts and CD's. That trick always works. Those guys jumped off and searched our band bus (and also harassed Alex Weeden, our guitar player/glutton for punishment, about a made up statutory rape charge and intestinal issues) and we cleared Canadian and US Customs and immigration in 16 minutes from the time we pulled in. I don't know if there is a record for time in crossing, but I'm pretty excited with 16 mins. It makes me not even sweat the fact I have to return twice in the next three months. Well, at least for now I'm not sweating.

So we made the 550 mile drive to Lancaster (pronounced LANK-a-ster), PA and were there in time for our 10 am load in. This was a fairly cool theater that seats about 1600. We made it to about 85% capacity but it looked good. Once ML launched into "Gunpowder" the crowd stood up and never sat back down. It was a good gig, the people were happy. At the end of the night, the buses were parked in the public parking lot and the building has no security whatsoever, so we had to do a Sanford and Son job with caution tape to try and keep people away from bus doors and load out. After about an hour, we still had probably 50 people hanging around so ML jumped off and signed a few things and took a couple pics with fans. Maybe it's because I'm on the other side of things, but there is not one person in this word I'd stand in sub freezing weather at the CHANCE I might get a picture or an autograph. Really.

So we ate amazing local pizza (I didn't, I had salad because I'm lo-carbing) and pulled out for Florence, Indiana. We sold out in advance at Belterra Casino. It's not a big room (maybe 1000-1200) but a nice place. Wierd set-up, almost an in the round stage. I had people looking at my ass when tuning in guitar world. I'm sure that wasn't part of the ticket price. When we were done I sent ML and a couple agents from our booking agency up to the high roller room to play blackjack. I think ML broke even, everyone else (including our band guys that followed) all got smeared in the casino. I made it in for one beer, 45 seconds at the bar before having my fill of drunk idiots and then returned to the bus for a relaxing evening. We pulled into Nashville around 5 am and Brittani came and got me. I caught up on sleep until noon that day, God I needed it after not getting any the first two nights on the road. Now back to work in the office world.

I'D RATHER HAVE A HEMORRHAGE...

2008-02-13T17:24:00.000-08:00

So it's T minus 6.5 hours until I have to deal with Canadian customs. After probably a dozen man hours of cultivating paperwork, permits, passports, visas, carnets, buffets and and duvets, I'll show up tonight and inevitably have to jump through a hoop or do some kind of stupid human trick with my hands. I don't understand why if our countries are such great allies why it's such a pain in the ass to get two buses with trailers full o' gear into the land of the moose. God, when i go to Mexico they hardly even make me take my foot off the accelerator. They're just so happy to see white folks coming to spend money they swing the gates wide open.

We're crossing tonight at Peace Bridge near Buffalo. I've only gone in before thru International Falls and Sweetgrass (Montana). Last time I went with ML we had a keyboard player that thought it would be funny to joke about beating a murder rap while sitting in the customs office. His humor didn't really jive with anyone else. We should have left him in Canada. I hear he's doing well in his new gig.

It snowed all night and day today in Nashville. It only accumulated about an inch, but it was nice to see it falling all day. It did scare the shit out of me, though. I didn't know how long it would last and I'm pretty sure Nashville airport isn't stocked with de-icers and snow plows. The weather all over has been causing little flight delays all over, it's about to give me a rash from worry. Deep breath...let it out. Deep Breath...Hold it.

Emmylou Harris got inducted into the Country Music Hall of Fame yesterday. Good for you, Emmy. Tom T Hall and The Statler brothers made it too. I love that Statler that sings the really low parts. I swear he's the one on the Wham! record singing "Jitterbug" while George Michael sings like a ferry. And yes, I do realize I just acknowledged that I know a Wham! song. I was a child who grew up in the 80's with a teenage sister. Of course I know that song.

Boarding. Gotta run. More after the forced penetration at the border.

GRAMMY WRAP UP

2008-02-12T19:19:00.000-08:00

Sorry, I've been a neglecting blogger. I've been on vacation. Actually, I've been playing with my new toy...Xbox online. I feel like a 12 year old sitting in front of the TV for two hours playing video games. It's just so stress relieving, I don't know what it is about it.

So the Grammy's were Sunday night. Amy Winehouse made a near sweep. I think it was deserving, however I do think that Springsteen's "Magic" was overlooked in a lot of nomination categories. ML got beat out by Carrie (surprise). I was a little surprised that Dierks didn't take home a Grammy, he was nominated for four. I thought he kind of skewed towards Grammy voters...commercially viable but still holding on to artistic integrity. The Grammy's, in my mind, have always been somewhat cool in that sense. They would vote Bob Dylan for record of the year over a Justin Timberlake or vote Allison Krauss over Martina McBride, etc. I guess it hasn't really happened that way in a while (except for the Herbie Hancock thing for Record of the Year). It used to be the award of the underdog, now it's almost just another popularity award with an occasional upset.

I will preach on one thing that the Grammy's opened my eyes to. Actually, two things, but let's start with number 1. I've seen a shift in females in music over the last several years. I think the Dixie Chicks and Sheryl Crow had a whole lot to do with this. They became women singer-songwriters who were artistically sound, played their own instruments, made great music, put on a good show and could sell tickets. Since then, we've had an explosion of females in both country and other formats that have followed this formula to paydirt (or are well on their way). Look at the success of Amy Winehouse, Colbie Caillat, Alicia Keys, Kelly Clarkson and Miranda. Honestly, I've bought about 20 records in the last six weeks and about 14 have been by females. Of the other six, four of them were made before 1984. The male singer-songwriter guys are having a much tougher time breaking through to the same level the females are. You can't really count Justin Timberlake because of his boy-band success that followed him, but honestly who was the last male singer songwriter that burst onto the scene and really made waves both commercially and artistically? Ryan Adams? Keith Urban? The former has trouble selling out theater gigs and doesn't break more than 100,000 in sales of a record. The latter definitely fills arenas and goes multi-platinum, but I'm sure there would be people who argue his artistic integrity (though after touring with him I would aid in his defense as a staunch supporter). Really, there's a ton of Matt Kearneys and Jon McLaughlins and Josh Rouses, but none of those guys make it to the next level. They're stuck in a male singer songwriter purgatory. I guess this female spawn is the answer to Willie, Waylon, Petty, Springsteen, James Taylor, Cat Stevens, Steve Earle and John Prine's revolution of the 70's and 80's. Females had their Emmylous and Joni Mitchells then, but they were surely fewer than their male counterparts.

OK, now point two that I wanted to make. Since when did Grammy performers command so much power as to be able to perform two songs each. Sunday night saw Kanye, Winehouse, Fogerty, Tina Turner/Beyonce all get the chance to do multiple tunes. How about a good old fashioned award show where everyone gets one song and you have time for more performances? Really, how bad was the Grammy show? Appeal to more people by having more performances and help do your part to launch other genres and artists, don't just appeal to advertisers by giving the big names the most time. In essence, the Grammy's have indeed become corporate.

So I'm off tomorrow to Canada (EH!) and then back stateside for a couple shows. Nothing like a 559 mile bus ride in between gigs in two different countries. God, I love booking agents. Never met one I didn't like. =)

Riding on the City of New Orleans

2008-02-01T13:53:00.000-08:00

Played the House of Blues New Orleans last night. I hadn't done it in about six years since my first stint with Ingram. It was the second night of Mardi Gras so the locals hide and the tourists are shithoused by at least 5 p.m. Makes for a fun time around 10 pm when everyone's yakking in the street. And we almost pooled our money to send our monitor guy to Bankok Massage down the street from the club. You can't make this stuff up, it was really called Bangkok Massage.

I hate playing the HOB New Orleans because I'm in a city with amazing food all around, but the HOB food is so good and FREE that I can never manage to pull myself away. I sat up front for the drive out of town and when you see the repaired Superdome versus the pics from Katrina it amazes you to think how powerful that storm must have been. I would have loved to have been able to drive down to 9th Ward and see the carnage being cleaned up but, of course, a show day never permits time for it.

We're doing San Antonio Rodeo tonight. If you haven't done San Antonio, you should see it. They put you on an island stage thats about 22 feet in diameter and it spins. About 4 songs in you're completely dizzy. Oh, and did I mention that the crowd is a good 30 yards from the stage? Our buddies in Randy Rogers band played last night and left us sweet love notes taped to the stage.

After load out we head to Lawton, OK to play Fort Sill for the military and then I get to go home for a week before trekking to Canada (eh!) next week.

WEEKEND RECAP

2008-01-28T16:03:00.000-08:00

Great to be back on the road. Not much changed, the same guys who have gas still have gas. The same ones who sleep till 2 pm still do that. I think every band on the road has those people in their group. We played a show with Larry Gatlin and the Gatlin brothers in Oklahoma last summer. I walked into the trailer behind the stage to find them after the show and invite them up on the bus to meet ML and have a drink. I found them as they were changing and as I walked in I heard one of them yell "Goddamn man. That's awful!" Then it hit me...the gassy fumes that plague every band on the road because of the one member who can't control his bodily functions indoors. I realized that, while they may be 60 years old and have been all over the world and sold millions of records, they still that token band member that always lets 'em rip without warning. One way or another, whether it's from laughter or stench, it's gonna make your eyes water.

So I have this relative that got me $352.51 in Sharper Image goods for Christmas. I took it all back and turned it into a gift card, but there's nothing in the store I want so I'm trying to sell it on eBay. No luck thus far, but I had someone email in and offer me $280. It's so worth it to me to not have that much Sharper Image shit in my house I might be willing to pay someone $70 to take it off my hands.

I made a red curry pork tenderloin for dinner tonight. I think I was Thai in another lifetime. I made Tom Kha soup to go with it. Both were surprisingly easy. I think my favorite part a about being home for more than two days at a time is getting to shop for groceries and actually use my kitchen. I need to go buy a cannister of propane and get my grill up and running. It's been bone dry for about 2 months.

I bought David Gray's Greatest Hits today. He's the little british guy everyone got to know when they heard "Babylon" a few years ago. A great mellow record. Speaking of mellow, I also got Chet Baker's "Best Of." Chet was a damn good trumpet player who dies at 59 after a long battle with bad drugs. I listen to that record on planes all the time, listen to his version of "My Funny Valentine."

Bush gave his state of the union tonight. I didn't listen, but I'm sure he told me that our soldiers were keeping everyone in the middle east safe, that mortgage lenders were in the wrong for what they did to borrowers and that his last year will be prosperous. Translation: Your stocks are in the shitter, we're stuck in a country we can't get out of without having egg on our face and I have absolutely no hope of things turning around for the next year. That about sum it up? Anyone?

If you ever get a chance to go to the Imperial Palace Casino in Biloxi they have a good buffet. They gave ML the penthouse, it was very modern with dark wood furniture and a bar. I used the crapper in it. It was like any other crapper in any other hotel. Nothing special there. Saturday we played Cypress Gardens. Avoid playing a theme park if you can help it. There's really no good that can come of it.

As my dear friend Christian Seger once said, "I belong in an arena."

Somebody Wake Up Saint Christopher...

2008-01-23T21:54:00.000-08:00

We're back on the road, baby. After almost six weeks off we rolled out of rehearsals tonight and are headed down the road to Leesville, LA. I'm extremely glad to be doing our own shows and not be on a tour for a little while, I do wish they were a little more consistent. We go from a military to a casino to a fair to a club to a rodeo. Talk about not being able to get in a rhythm.

Pour a little out for Heath Ledger. While I still haven't been able to stomach watching Brokeback Mountain, I do think the guy was way talented. Damn shame. Also, pour some out for Britney missing her court hearing (again) to get her kids back. She needs a kick in the ass from a large boot. Something. I'll take wagers on who is gonna die first, her or Amy Winehouse (who, coincedentally, was caught on video smoking crack at a party this week. Wow.

In lighter news the stock market is tanking. Hard. Can someone please find me a candidate that can fix the economy? QUICKLY.

I'm looking forward to being back on Louisiana soil tomorrow. I grew up there and it still feels like home...well, a backwoods home but home none the less. I love that you can by liquor at the gas station at 4 in the morning if you'd like. I don't really need to, but just having that option is a nice thing. Almost to Terrell, it's time for bed. I gotta get up early and get strip earched at the gates of the base tomorrow. Never a dull moment.

Where have you gone, Joe DiMaggio??

2008-01-20T21:49:00.000-08:00

So the ironman Brett Favre just gave everything he had in -4 degree weather, but alas it was not enough to best young Eli Manning's New York Giants. Since the Cowboys were eliminated last week, Favre was my one last grasp on this NFL football season. Honestly, when the Super Bowl rolls around in two weeks I will most likely watch kickoff, a few commercials and the post game coverage. I'll most likely be in the middle of my afternoon nap for the majority of the game. This feeling really brings up a question that I feel many others my age may be facing...can we identify with the sports world of today?

I grew up watching players like Danny White, the Celtics teams with McHale/Bird/Parrish and baseball players like Mr. October - Reggie Jackson- and devoted, yet non-flashy, heroes like Dennis Eckersley and Tony Gwynn.

I watched "60 Minutes" unfold the Roger Clemens drama last week and then watched Clemens' press conference the following day. While it doesn't matter to me whether Clemens did or didn't use steroids (I choose to believe he didn't), it kills me that he must drag himself through this proving ground of "guilty until proven innocent" world that is any allegation made in modern times. Because of these charges and Clemens lack of desire to have to fight, he's all but chosen not to return to major league baseball. Now, I've never recovered from the strike in the early 90's that killed the World Series and, should this ordeal be the cause of Clemens choosing not to return for another season I will NEVER ever watch MLB again. I'm not a big fan now, but I can stil embrace the players like Clemens, Biggio, Kenny Rogers and a few other antiques that have managed to last this long. Brett Favre, on the NFL front, fits this same mold. I find it harder and harder to follow NFL teams because of the constant trades, salary caps, cuts, releases and non-loyalty from owners and players. Favre is the last of a dying breed on this front, he's spent almost two decades in the league, and for almost all of those years he's spent on the Green Bay Packers. As I watched him throw that last interception tonight, I wondered if I was indeed done watching NFL football for a long while.

Indeed, we still have a few players who can manage to stay with one team for a very long time, but usually it's the near-franchise players (Strahan, Marvin Harrison, Roy Williams). What happened to the days not so long ago when I could name every player on any NFL team and they stayed there for years...Steve Tasker, Don Beebee, Jim Kelly, Andre Reed, Thurman Thomas, Carwell Gardner. There's six players from a mid-90's football team that never won a Super Bowl and never headlined shoe campaigns or made the headlines for point-shaving scandals or big time coke busts. Players now are rewarded for being non-team players and running PR campaigns in order to be high-profile and attract endorsements.

Maybe I'm just a dinosaur, but I thought these were team sports where guys realize they're part of a bigger picture. Even hitting in 72 out of 73 games (including his MLB record 56 game hit streak), Joltin' Joe never told his teammates to climb on his back and ride him to victory, he relied on them in the good and bad times to contribute. Where have you gone, Joe??

My Celebrity iTunes Playlist

2008-01-17T22:54:00.000-08:00

Since iTunes has not yet called me to post my Celebrity playlist, I'm guessing they don't realize that I'm as big and important as I think I am. Until they come around, I'll go ahead and leave the list here. So here we go, about a dozen or so of the greatest songs that you know (or should). And bear in mind, I'm a musical snob. If you're mad cause you don't see any Rascal Flatts or "Fergalicious" you probably shouldn't be reading this blog anyway. Try Country Weekly or People.

1. Bruce Springsteen - "The Promise"
Found on the 18 Tracks Collection that came with the Tracks box set, this is pure songwriting. While I'm as big an E-Street fan as any, this tune is Springsteen solo with a simple piano, sosimple I can even play it on the ivories. A similar theme as 'The River," this tune is a coming of age realization that all those things you dream about as a child or teen, you one day wake up to find them no where near reality.

2. The Band - "It Makes No Difference"
While I first heard this song on the "Northen Lights" record, you must watch "The Last Waltz" to fully appreciate the heart-wrenching vocals of Rick Danko on this masterpiece. While penned by Robbie Robertson, Danko sings every word as if it were the last song he'd ever sing, as if his heart was shattered. "I love you so much/It's all I can do/Just to keep myself from telling you/That I never felt so alone before." Maybe the most powerful line in recorded song.

3. Chris Wall - "Three Across"
From the "Tainted Angel" record, it's almost easy to miss the great guitar licks and harmony provided by Reckless Kelly (who serve as the band throughout the record) because you're lost in the lyrics of this one. Wall's unforgettable realism and imagery paint the picture of the guy who grew up the "third wheel" and watched his buddy get the girl of his dreams. Then he watches the town around him and all those memories of drive ins, cheap motels on the edge of town and drinking in lake parking lots "just disappear." One of the greatest country songs I've ever heard. Period.

4. Counting Crows - "Raining In Baltimore"
Such a dark build through the whole song. I can see that hotel room he wrote this in. It's probably that lonely Best Western built above the bus station outside of downtown. I can see the rain on the window just from those lyrics. I'd bet everything I own this was written after weeks on the road and being stuck in that shithole. It's on the first record "August and Everything After," a very fine record to help you through a break-up.

5. Willie Nelson - "Always On My Mind"
I couldn't dream a better letter to an ex-wife on one of those nights when you realize you've done it all wrong. You have so much to say and you sit down to write a 9 page letter, but all those pages couldn't say it better than this tune. And Willie's delivery is classic. Probably the best singing he ever did is on this track. It's on "Stardust".

6. Guy Clark - "Anyhow, I Love You"
From "Texas Cooking" record, this tune has God's harmony choir singing on one track...Emmylou, Waylon and Rodney Crowell. When Waylon comes over the top with that high harmony at the end of the tune my knees buckle every time. And the chorus is so country, so simple...but brilliant.

7. Jason Isbell - "Dress Blues"
If any of you reading this have this record "Sirens in the Ditch" from Jason Isbell, i'd be extremely surprised. This guy played guitar for the Drive By Truckers who haven't really impressed me, but this song knocked my dick in the dirt. "Mommas and Grandmommas love you/That's all they know how to do/But you never planned on the bombs in the sand/Or sleeping in your dress blues." Rather than write a protest song about war, Isbell just writes about the most heartbreaking part about it...a town coping with the loss of one of its' own. This song might convert a republican to democrat.

8. John Eddie - "If You're Here When I Get Back"
Just like Jackson Browne's whole "Running on Empty" record, this song might be lost on someone not on the road for days, weeks and months on end. However, to those of us who know that feeling, our life is written in this. Regret for leaving, longing for home, fear of unfaithfulness and joy of returning. And Springsteen-esque description.

9. Jordan Zevon - "Studebaker"
A version of his dad Warren's old classic, this song reminds me of the O. Henry short story "Gift of the Magi." It's the old ironic tale where the wife sells her long hair to buy her husband a gift and the husband sells what he has to buy the woman a fancy hairbrush set. The character in this tune spends all his money on a car to try and get out of a dead end town and live life, only to realize that his "damned Studebaker keeps on breakin' down again." Isn't it ironic. Don't you think?? Sorry, poor attempt at humor and to make sure you're still with me.

10. Keith Whitley - "Dont Close Your Eyes"
You could quite conceivably interchange about 14 other Keith Whitley songs with this one, but the point is that on all of them he proves that he was the GREATEST country singer that ever lived. Purists will fight me with Merle, Cash, Hank Sr, etc, but I stand behind this claim. There was no purer voice than Whitley, and no greater loss than his early death. Only the good die young.

11. Marc Cohn - "Walkin in Memphis"
From his "Rainy Season" record. This song is the greatest produced track I've ever heard. When it goes to the bridge "And Reverend Green..." and starts walking the song morphs into a spiritual gospel tune and the B3 organ drives it home. I get chills just thinking about that part. And fuck Lonestar for even trying to play that song.

12. Otis Redding - "These Arms of Mine"
PURE SOUL. NEVER WILL THERE BE ANYTHING LIKE IT.

13. Patty Griffin - "Up To The Mountain"
The newest entry on the playlist, it's from her 2007 "Children Running Through" record. An anthem to keep going when it's hard and looks like there's no future. Beautiful song and vocals that make you cringe they're so good.

14. Roy Orbison - "I Drove All Night"
I heard that Guy Clark told someone if you could capture 25% of what you're feeling in the words of a song that you were doing a good job. I can feel every bit of that 90 mph journey when you're eyes feel like they want to close but you've only got a few more miles to get there and into someone's arms. God he could sing.

15. Ryan Adams - "Desire"
This track is on "Demolition," which was a collection of songs that didn't make his first couple solo records. Not bad for a track that didn't make a record. It's stripped down so you don't lose the lyrics and it give it that lonely feel. One man's trash...

16. Todd Snider - "Long Year"
"It's been a long, long year...How did I get here?" If I had a dollar for everytime I've asked myself this very line I'd be a very rich man. I probably wouldn't be writing this blog and I would have an iTunes celebrity playlist. This is on "Happy to Be Here." Todd's a lyrical genius. Our generation's John Prine, only wittier.

17. Tom Petty - Southern Accents
Johnny Cash once said that if "Dixie" wasn't the song of the South that this would be. I can't write anything better than that, so just go listen and realize Johnny was right.

18. Waylon Jennings - "If You See Me Gettin' Smaller, I'm Leavin"
I think this is off "Ol Waylon," but whatever it's off of it's pure genius. "Who knows who they came to see/A Mad man full of beer/A four piece band and a charter bus/My borderline career." All about dealing with the feeling of just wanting to give it all up, disappear and be normal, walk away from the never ending circus.

That's it. It's not the 18 best songs ever, it's not my favorite 18 songs. It's just 18 songs that everyone should hear. Music that will change your life. And the world.

FEEDING THE DIVA (OR DIVO)

2008-01-16T12:03:00.000-08:00

In case you missed it this morning, OJ Simpson was back in court for attempting to contact a co-defendant in his trial. When admonishing him, the judge said "I don't know if it's arrogance or ignorance" that makes you try and do what you want to do. That brings up a great question for those celebrities/powerbrokers that we often hear about... is it arrogance or ignorance that makes them do things we deem stupid, reckless or even "above the law."

We see Britney driving around Studio City almost daily with a horde of paparazzi in tow. First of all, I don't understand how that STILL sells magazines, but let's move on. Since she was 12ish, she's had managers, tour managers, road managers, agents, personal assistants an lawyers on the payroll. While some of them might have initially stood up to her on issues of disagreement, Britney - in the end- pays all of them. You argue with someone enough you eventually want out of that relationship...it's human nature. You replace them with someone more like minded. So, in this gradual changing of the guard, Britney has filled her like with enablers and "yes men" who exist only to profit from their dealings with her and to not piss her off. Could it be that she's had people for 13 years going to Starbucks to get her coffee, to drive her to where she needed to go, to provide security from paparazzi, to shop for groceries for her and to fill her cars with gas only now she views that as normalcy and chooses to try and engage in those things. I mean, honestly, the rest of us do all those things on a regular basis. In her mind there's no reason she can't. However, those of us who live in reality realize that those things attract unwanted attention and would most likely be avoided by anyone with the means to avoid.

Is Britney brave and defiant in trying to live her life like any normal person on a day to day routine?

Look at OJ. After skating by on his murder rap, you'd think the guy would at least keep his nose clean. Instead he dives headfirst into a world of shady guys running cash only businesses and wearing full length furs. Though I think OJ is one of the most charismatic people on the planet, what kind of normal human thinks it's OK to storm a hotel room at gunpoint to retrieve stuff (even if it is stolen from you). His reckless abandon in trying to contact his co-defendant after it was strictly prohibited by his bond proves to me that he has no regard whatsoever for laws and probably is guilty of the original crime.

Wow. When does it get that bad. It's not an overnight shift, but when do the people that have been enabled by money and pwer wake up one day and go , "Shit, I can do WHATEVER I want." It's like Pete Townshend throwing TV's out the window at the Hyatt in LA in the 60's. He wasn't raised thinking that was acceptable behavior, yet he somehow migrated to the point where he thought if he had the money to be careless and pay for damage it was OK. Hey Pete, "IT'S NOT OK." There's a current country duo and one half of that group is very much of the same principle. He emboddies the philosophy of "do whatever you want, sort it out and pay for it later" and this is exactly the motto that requires "yes men" and enablers, then turns someone into a person who doesn't live in reality.

If you never get to this point, you can stay a celebrity and still lead a private but normal life and still have people that surround you and don't buy into the star side of things. They still call bullshit on you. But once it moves past the part where you control everyone who is supposed to be controlling you, all control is lost and you end up shaving your head at 4 am or storming a hotel room at gunpoint to get your suit back.

"CAN YOU PLEASE TURN IT DOWN A LITTLE?"

2008-01-13T09:29:00.000-08:00

OK people, here's a rant. IF YOU HAVE A BLACK TIE EVENT, DON'T BOOK A COUNTRY OR ROCK BAND TO PLAY IT! Please, jus do me that favor. There is no bigger asswhip than people booking a show and having no idea what they're in for. Country bands have amps that go to 11 and drums that make noise when you hit them. I've never understood why so many parties want to pay insane amounts of money for a big name and then don't want them heard. Ponderous.

I'm reminded of a show we did with ML about two years ago in upstate Pennsylvania at an RV resort. We got all set up and during soundcheck the old hag running everything came up to our Front of House engineer and asked him, and I quote "Can you please turn the bass down 6 or 7?" After briefly wondering what 6 or 7 meant, he politely said "yes ma'am" and turned an imaginary knob on the console and asked "is that better?" "That's perfect," she responded. I love my job.

We're currently 94 miles out from Nashville on I-24 rolling back from Miami. Bus internet is a beautiful thing, I don't know how people survived without it for so many years (including me). Lord willing and the creek don't rise (to quote Levon Helm), I'll be home in time for kickoff of the Cowboy game. I really hope Jessica Simpson doesn't show up and cause a game losing fumble like Carrie did last year. I saw Tony Romo about three months after that game last year at the ACM awards. He was at the Sony Party sitting all by himself and, as much as a Cowboy fan as I am, i still hadn't forgiven him for blowing it and couldn't find it in my heart to forgive him and go talk. I'm sure he's crushed that he didn't get to make my acquaintance, but I've since moved past it and wish him the best. Until he loses, that is.

Our driver just opened a window and I realized we're not in Miami anymore, Dorothy. The 80 degrees i felt yesterday has been replaced by the chilly TN winter. Can anyone tell me where it stays 60 degrees year round? I'd like to go there. My fall wardrobe is much cooler than anything else, I need jacket weather to look cool.

I watched "Factory Girl" the other night, a movie about Edie Sedgwick and Andy Warhol. What an interesting story that was. I've never been a huge fan of Andy Warhol, I can appreciate what he did but didn't really see all the hoopla. When he died his estate was worth 300 million. I might pay $100 bucks for one of his pieces. Different strokes for different folks. It's funny that Edie Sedgwick has been the model for all the "it" girls like Paris, Nicole, etc. They probably have no idea who she was, but the fact they follow the same path is funny to me.

I gotta run, we're about to duck into a Stuckey's and I haven't seen one of those since I was in elementary school. Last of a dying breed, I can't pass it up.

GOOD MORNING, FLORIDA!!

2008-01-12T06:57:00.000-08:00

It's been over four weeks since I've been on the road. Not much has changed. Florida is still a long stretch of semi decent interstate. However, in case you haven't been to South Florida, it's a shithole. It reminds me of Waco. I think Fort Myers is the worst. When I was with an artist we'll affectionately refer to by his alter ego "Black Mangrum" we played Fort Myers with Pat Green. I've never seen so many people with so little teeth. Well, I take that back. We did another show in South Florida with ML- a festival with Blake Shelton- and it was indeed worse. My dear friend Christian took pictures and made a slideshow. Here's a sample from that slideshow:

This is totally representative of the entire crowd, I'm not just picking the best. I'll ask Christian to post that slideshow somewhere. He set the whole thing to redneck music...yep, "Sweet Home Alabama." It really captures the feel of the gig.

I've got to get my sea legs back on me. This bus bounces a little more than I'm used to, but thinking I'm a seasoned pro I tried to delve into split screen Halo 3 last night while rolling. After about 4 games I was overcome with a bout of motion sickness and retired to my non-condo bunk for the rest of the evening. I felt like a sissy. I'm about to dive into a box of Honey Bunches of Oats with Cinnamon Clusters...I'll tell you how it is tomorrow.

I'm getting ready to buy an Xbox 360 for home. I've stayed away from it because of the addictive personality that I have and once I sit down to play I'm likely to stay for several hours. However, I've been captured by the online gaming community. It's really wild how 24 people can team up together online to shoot each other. Enthralling. I can't wait to get pulverized by a number of 12 year olds. Oh well, at least I know I'd best them in 10 Yard Fight or Excitebike. Old school baby, keeping it real. With that Xbox I'm going to buy a small flatscreen for my office. I went to Best Buy yesterday and I'm shocked at how low the prices have gone. You can get a 30 inch LCD for under $650. Unreal. The same 40 inch I bought for $1500 last year is now just over $1100. Bastards.

100 miles to the gig. I need to print some daysheets and listen to this bus driver tell me the same story about wanting to move to a beach and drink margaritas that he's told me two other times since we started rolling last night. God love 'em.

WELCOME TO THE SHOW

2008-01-11T00:03:00.001-08:00

So I'm sure if you're reading this you who I am and that I tour manage (or mangle, depending on your role on the tour). This will be a great distraction from the humdrum life of the road, where nothing really goes on anyway!

I'm actually sitting at home in Nashville today on a rainy Thursday. Jimmy Buffet said he moved from Nashville to Key West because he got so tired of it always raining. I wrote a song about that line from his autobiography before I'd ever even been to Nashville. It has a pretty obvious title...yep, "Raining in Nashville." Pretty clever, huh?

I leave in about 15 hours to go on the road with Chris Young, an artist on RCA. I'm filling in for my good buddy Troy, Chris' regular TM, whom I may not be calling "my good buddy Troy" after tomorrow night. Troy booked me for the gig, a 914 miles bus ride to Miami for a two song set and then a 914 mile jaunt back to Nashville, before telling me one small transportation detail...we would be doing all this on an Eagle. Seeing as how Eagle quit making buses in 1993, this bus is AT LEAST 15 years old. I do hope I'm pleasantly surprised, however I have a feeling I won't be. Prepare for the worst, hope for the best. And yes, I do realize I'm completely shallow and a bus snob. Chris Newsom, my production manager with ML, will be on the gig with me as well. Bus misery loves company.

On a political side note, I've yet to endorse a candidate in the '08 presidential race yet. I know all the pundits and commentators are eagerly awaiting my ringing endorsement, but I have yet to decide. I like Edwards but he reminds me of a Saturday Night Live character with the accent and the waxing and waning eyebrows. Obama has charisma but seems like he lacks confidence sometimes. Hillary is too far of stretch. I'm still trying to come to grips that after arguing for months in 2000 with my good friend and former band mate Kinley Wolfe (of The Cult fame) that I might actually vote Democrat. I like Huckabee's demeanor and he plays a mean 4 string axe, but I think putting a minister in office would jeopardize too many political decisions that need to stay non=religious. I'd like Ron Paul a lot more if he wasn't such a whack job. I watched Howard Stern on Letterman tonight...he said there's way too many people in the race and he was waiting until there were two or three left to make a decision. Maybe he's on to somehting.

India introduced a $2500 fully functional automoble today that may be introduced in America in the next few years. I doubt the automakers let it happen, but we'll see. It looks like the little mini cars you see on Key West or in Carribean islands, except these have doors, A/C, etc and get 60-70 mph. I might have to buy one just to have something to laugh at myself in.

If you don't read the NY Times or Wall Street Journal you should.

I've got to get some sleep. I started this blog at 1 pm and it's 2:18 am. I've got bad ADD.

Peace.